- The good news is you won't be in pain much longer...
- Before we start, I'd like to get my payment up front.
- You remember last year when I said you looked healthy? Well, funny thing...
- I'll make this quick, because you don't have time to waste.
- Just out of curiosity... Have you thought about making your peace with God?
- This would be an excellent time to take out a huge, long-term loan and just spend it.
- Great news! According to the lab results, you'll never grow old.
- I've seen your x-rays, and I would like to be the first to welcome you to our planet.
- You should cancel any plans for this weekend.
- I thought we had fixed this...
- I don't suppose you took a cab here on the off chance you wouldn't be driving your car home.
- It's like this... Do you remember that scene in Alien, where...
- To be honest, this sort of thing almost never happens, since the end of the Great Plague.
- Any other time, this would be really funny.
- You know that saying about doctors being "only human"? Well...
- Ouch, that's going to hurt, if the feeling ever returns.
- Is your apartment rent-controlled?
02 April 2008
All that training...
Today, I compiled a list of things that I don't ever want to hear a doctor say to me: