04 June 2021

Thar Chi Blows!

 So, I was pondering chi. Some of you are confused about chi, so thought I would write this up to help make things clear.

Now, I know that some of you believe that you understand chi. You think it's cool, it's a kung fu power, and you have it tattooed on your tailbone.  Nope. Your tramp stamp isn't Chinese. It's not even Kanji. It's Tagalog, and it translates to "egg drop soup". That's right... Somewhere out there a US-born Filipino tatooist is still laughing about the White lady who couldn't tell whether he was Chinese or Mexican.

But I digress.

So, chi. Basically, it's life energy. We use it for everything from moving to thinking. It flows through us and keeps us alive.

There are three major types of chi. We have plant chi, which is produced by plants. We have animal chi, which is produced by animals. We have pizza chi, which is produced by pizza.

Plant chi is slow and ponderous. Animal chi is active and vibrant. Pizza chi generally smells like a mixture of animal and plant chi.

Pizza chi is not proportional to the mass of the pizza. Chi is non-dairy, so it isn't contained in the cheese. Also, bread has no chi, so pizza crust is invisible to chi. Pizza chi is produced entirely in the toppings and tomato sauce.

As mentioned, we use chi to move. This includes skeletal-muscular movement, internal organs, and even breathing. All of these use chi as fuel.

We get chi from a few sources. We get it from eating. We get animal chi from meat, and when we eat plants our bodies use bile and pepsin to convert plant chi into animal chi. This is why pizza is so popular... Pizza chi is unique to pizza, and the body can easily convert it to animal chi. Also, the acidity in the tomato sauce aids in the digestion of pizza chi.

We also get chi from breathing. Yes, breathing requires chi, but it also generates chi. If we breathe properly, we'll generate more chi than we use. This is one of the many benefits of proper meditation. 

Aerobic exercise doesn't generate chi, but it does cause chi to circulate more quickly, which can cause bits of chi that get stuck to loosen and rejoin the body's chi flows.

Sex also generates chi, but in a delayed way. You have to use chi for the physical activity, but the afterglow generates more chi than you used. Some people try to make the chi generate more quickly by smoking after sex, but that doesn't speed chi generation, it only causes more chi to come to the surface of the skin, creating the illusion of increased chi production. In the long term, it actually can affect breathing, thus reducing normal chi production.

There. I was feeling somewhat scientific today, so I wanted to share a little science with my friends and family. I hope all of you feel a bit more informed on this important topic.

SCIENCE!!!

13 April 2021

The Eye of the Beholder

The world is full of beauty. It comes in all kinds and all colours. Every region of the globe is covered in breathtaking glory that's constantly changing and growing. Even in areas populated by man, natural beauty finds its way through. If I ever die, I hope that my one regret will be that there was more beauty in the world that I had yet to see, not that I hadn't tried to see as much as I could.




 

25 October 2020

We've all been there

 Hey, we've all been there.  You think, "Just a little.  It won't hurt."

But you're wrong.  It seems harmless.  You give in, just that little bit.  But it doesn't stop there, does it?  It feels good.  Just that little bit feels soooo good.  But then, you can't stop.  You think, "Just a little bit more will be alright."  But that's not the end.


Every little bit of ground you give weakens your resolve more.  The pleasure, the high, it's almost sexual.  You surrender more and more ground.


Pretty soon, you're avoiding the public eye, looking for ways to make it feel better, all the while, deep inside, just wishing you could stop.


Because you know that, at some point, it won't feel good.  You know that when you reach rock bottom, it's no longer about pursuing pleasure, but avoiding pain.  And you know that it's only going to get worse.


But there is hope.  Sometimes, you need medical intervention.  Sometimes, just some willpower is enough.


But sometimes, all you need is a friend.  A family member.  Someone who understands.  Someone who has been where you are now, and knows what it's like.  Someone who can give you the emotional support you need to make it through the night.


Someone to say, "Stop scratching!"

19 August 2020

Let's Talk About Progress

 I hear some of you talking about the "good ol' days".  You want things to go back to the way they were, before they turned "bad".  You want to return to a simpler time, with ye olde values and morals

I hear you.  And I agree.  Let's do that.

And let's start with you.

How far back should we go?  To the 50's?  Native Americans weren't considered US citizens, still, but you "good ol' days" people don't care about that.  Why would you?  You weren't affected.  

How about the crime rate?  You complain about the increase in crime, so let's turn back the clock.  In the 50's, lead pipes were commonplace, and weren't properly treated.  Everyone's taps basically served lead dissolved in muddy water.  The result?  Mental deterioration leading to violence.  Diminished intellectual capacity.  Shortened life spans.  Forget that the violent crime rate has been steadily declining since the 70's, when the governments started taking environmental lead levels seriously.

Or maybe you want to go a bit further back.  Jim Crow isn't enough for you, you like the antebellum days.  Okay, let's see what we have...

Are you a woman?  You can't vote.  You can't have a bank account without your husband's permission.  No husband?  Then you can't have a bank account at all.  And don't you dare get caught wearing pants.

Are you a man?  Great!  You'll love the life you have, dominating the world because of an accident of birth.  Granted, you have no access to air conditioning, you smell like a wet dog, and you're going to die before you reach 40 (if you're lucky).  Sure, instead of taking your car to a mechanic four times a year, you have to spend two hours a day tending to your horse, but these are the "good ol' days", right?  Before modern medicine, before television, of course if you need to send an emergency message to family across the country, perhaps telling them that your child died of typhoid fever, since vaccines haven't been invented yet, you can always walk to the nearest town and pay to send a telegraph, assuming you're lucky enough to live where one is available.  Just be careful if you can't afford shoes, antibiotics haven't been discovered yet, so if you have to lose your leg to a bone saw while you're wide awake, you'll be using a peg leg.

Perhaps you just feel that we should keep the benefits of the very technology that the clergy forbade, and just return to the religious values.  After all, people knew right from wrong, because they all went to church and learned from a good, wholesome preacher (or to temple and learned from a rabbi, etc.).  Great!  Nothing could go wrong.  And it's a good thing that man is honest, right?  Because since so many people couldn't read, they had to take his word on what the book in question said.

Are you left handed?  Too bad, you must be possessed.  You will be burned at the stake.

Are you reading this post on a computer?  Communing with spirits.  You will be burned at the stake.

Epilepsy? Possessed.  Too dumb?  Possessed.  Too smart?  Possessed.  Eyes an unusual color?  Born with a club foot?  Your canine teeth came in before your others?  Lazy eye?

You get the picture.  But that's alright.  None of those apply to you.  Of course, when you're accused by the person who wants to marry your spouse and wants you out of the way, you'll need to prove your innocence.  Simple enough.  We can tie you up and toss you in the river.  If you sink to the bottom and die, you're innocent.  If you float, you're guilty and must be burned.

I hear some of you talking about the "good ol' days".  You want things to go back to the way they were, before they turned "bad".  You want to return to a simpler time, with ye olde values and morals.

You're wrong.  This year (2020) notwithstanding, we're living in the best time to be alive.  The poorest people in most countries have a higher standard of living than royalty did in the past.  We have longer lifespans, lower crime rates.  We can cure diseases, grow food crops in warehouses.  We've been to the moon.  We have robots exploring Mars.  More information is available to more people than ever before.

It's called "progress".  But progress includes racial justice.  It includes gender equality.  It includes gay people being allowed to marry, and trans people being allowed to use public restrooms.

Yes, we have a long way to go, but the way might not be in the direction you expect.  If you're one of the people I was talking about earlier, then you think the way to go is backward.  Back to the filth, the war, the ignorance.  But you're wrong.  The way to go is forward.

That's what progress is.

04 July 2019

July the Fourth be with You

Today, large groups of humans are gathered together to celebrate... whatever. It doesn't matter. (I know what it is, it just isn't relevant to this point.)  Today, I was invited to join the writhing masses. I chose not to. I used my studies as an excuse, and it's a valid one, but still...

When I'm surrounded by large groups of humans, I feel as though I don't belong. I feel like an intruder. An impostor, if you will. I feel that they can all relate to each other, and I shouldn't be there, and if anyone noticed me, things would turn nasty. So I avoid such events. I could stand being surrounded by those closest to me, those with whom I feel that I belong, but those days are gone. So alone on the holidays is what's best.

Now, if those kids would stop pounding on my window, life would get better.

01 July 2019

Lots about Parking



AND another thing....

When you see a handicapped parking space, do you have the urge to park there, just because no one is pointing a gun at your head, telling you not to? Is it like the urge to pee? Like, you know you don't want too, but you can't stop yourself?

Are you the guy in this first photo? Parking in the only handicapped parking spot with nary a placard to be found?




Or are you the guy in the second photo? You think to yourself, "That crosshatch looks so pretty. It's next to a handicapped spot, but it's not marked as a handicapped spot, so it must be alright to park there."


Wrong, Dumb*ss. The crosshatch is there to mark an area to be left clear for the purpose of loading and unloading mobility devices, or persons in wheelchairs who require loading ramps or lifts. When you park in the crosshatch, you're impeding a disabled person from doing about his, her, or their daily business the same that anyone else would.

To the other guy... I don't care if you ARE just making a delivery (although this time you were there for hours). Those spots are sometimes closer to the relevant buildings. Other times they provide the extra space for the aforementioned loading and unloading.

Handicapped spaces aren't just handed out willy-nilly. A doctor determines the need of the patient and writes a letter to the DMV, and the DMV (or tax office) provides placards and/or license plates. The world is built to allow able-bodied people to get around and do stuff. Accommodations such as special parking are something we do to balance the scales a bit and make life easier for people who basically start off with a significant disadvantage. No one is asking you to smile or be polite or even show the same courtesy you show the teenagers you're creeping on at the mall (you know who you are). All I'm asking is that you KEEP YOUR SORRY *SS OUT OF THE PARKING SPOT TO WHICH YOU AREN'T ENTITLED. It's that simple. And it's the law.

And, for the record, from now on, I'll be doing what I should have been doing all along. From now on, I WILL contact the police when I see this. That is the correct/recommended response, and I'm tired of just sitting idly by.

29 June 2019

Putting the TV in LGBT

So, I know someone who's having trouble finding shows to watch. Every time he comes to the part where someone kisses someone of the same sex, he turns off the show and says he's "tired of them shoving [homosexuality] in [his] face". He then has to find a different movie or television show.

So far, I've been polite enough not to speak up, for my own reasons, but I keep wanting to grab him by his big ears and shout, "Shove it in your face? By that, do you mean, existing? This show's not about them, they just happen to be there. Can they exist without you having kittens?"

I think this attitude is part of the overall problem. Someone sees that someone in the LGBTQIA community exists (or, for that matter, someone Autistic or even just a nerd) and they flip their sh*t about it. Look, Just because someone exists within your awareness doesn't mean they're imposing on you. If they're in your house, stealing your cat, yes, they must suffer your righteous wrath, but if they're in a side plot, donning hybrid ballistic armor and preparing for battle against overwhelming odds, even if they take that moment to express physical affection toward a team mate who shares a similar genital alignment, don't worry about it. Just grab your extra armor cartridges and make sure your radio works. If someone who's female-presenting walks into a women's restroom and you have doubts about that person's chromosomal configuration, consider the fact that there are at least five known configurations of the common sex chromosomes, plus conditions that make those not work properly, plus other things, plus even if none of that is the case and you ask for the woman's birth certificate she's well within her rights beat you until you like it, no matter what that birth certificate says.

And if all of this is happening on television, get over yourself. Remember the old Amos and Andy show? White actors. African Americans had to go through decades of struggle (and about three different group names) to get proper representation. Remember The Lone Ranger? From 2013? Johnny Depp as Tonto? Native Americans still have to fight for representation, sometimes. So, if LGBTQIA persons constitute (I think) between 10 and 11 percent of the population, why can't they occasionally appear in movies without someone having to go punch a llama?