tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19911566491429515872024-03-13T03:40:24.548-05:00Annals of a Renaissance NerdNokihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16856143453343678103noreply@blogger.comBlogger94125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991156649142951587.post-84331827002497534162021-06-04T21:50:00.000-05:002021-06-04T21:50:41.118-05:00Thar Chi Blows!<p> So, I was pondering chi. Some of you are confused about chi, so thought I would write this up to help make things clear.</p><p>Now, I know that some of you believe that you understand chi. You think it's cool, it's a kung fu power, and you have it tattooed on your tailbone. Nope. Your tramp stamp isn't Chinese. It's not even Kanji. It's Tagalog, and it translates to "egg drop soup". That's right... Somewhere out there a US-born Filipino tatooist is still laughing about the White lady who couldn't tell whether he was Chinese or Mexican.</p><p>But I digress.</p><p>So, chi. Basically, it's life energy. We use it for everything from moving to thinking. It flows through us and keeps us alive.</p><p>There are three major types of chi. We have plant chi, which is produced by plants. We have animal chi, which is produced by animals. We have pizza chi, which is produced by pizza.</p><p>Plant chi is slow and ponderous. Animal chi is active and vibrant. Pizza chi generally smells like a mixture of animal and plant chi.</p><p>Pizza chi is not proportional to the mass of the pizza. Chi is non-dairy, so it isn't contained in the cheese. Also, bread has no chi, so pizza crust is invisible to chi. Pizza chi is produced entirely in the toppings and tomato sauce.</p><p>As mentioned, we use chi to move. This includes skeletal-muscular movement, internal organs, and even breathing. All of these use chi as fuel.</p><p>We get chi from a few sources. We get it from eating. We get animal chi from meat, and when we eat plants our bodies use bile and pepsin to convert plant chi into animal chi. This is why pizza is so popular... Pizza chi is unique to pizza, and the body can easily convert it to animal chi. Also, the acidity in the tomato sauce aids in the digestion of pizza chi.</p><p>We also get chi from breathing. Yes, breathing requires chi, but it also generates chi. If we breathe properly, we'll generate more chi than we use. This is one of the many benefits of proper meditation. </p><p>Aerobic exercise doesn't generate chi, but it does cause chi to circulate more quickly, which can cause bits of chi that get stuck to loosen and rejoin the body's chi flows.</p><p>Sex also generates chi, but in a delayed way. You have to use chi for the physical activity, but the afterglow generates more chi than you used. Some people try to make the chi generate more quickly by smoking after sex, but that doesn't speed chi generation, it only causes more chi to come to the surface of the skin, creating the illusion of increased chi production. In the long term, it actually can affect breathing, thus reducing normal chi production.</p><p>There. I was feeling somewhat scientific today, so I wanted to share a little science with my friends and family. I hope all of you feel a bit more informed on this important topic.</p><p>SCIENCE!!!</p>Nokihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16856143453343678103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991156649142951587.post-60871855933611036022021-04-13T11:59:00.000-05:002021-04-13T11:59:26.180-05:00The Eye of the Beholder<p>The world is full of beauty. It comes in all kinds and all colours. Every region of the globe is covered in breathtaking glory that's constantly changing and growing. Even in areas populated by man, natural beauty finds its way through. If I ever die, I hope that my one regret will be that there was more beauty in the world that I had yet to see, not that I hadn't tried to see as much as I could.<br /><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtr320dskFOwrJ16xx5om75eG_ojs_fOj48G-NQ8lxYtUnLdfRKkY-ES3930yU0k1zJbMx0YYfd_63aVDKO-q1XEGFF_h8xc6ZuZHlKRxO0pW-saTEi71TtxLJY-qAk48YSm7NL2Zqz8E/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="603" data-original-width="917" height="332" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtr320dskFOwrJ16xx5om75eG_ojs_fOj48G-NQ8lxYtUnLdfRKkY-ES3930yU0k1zJbMx0YYfd_63aVDKO-q1XEGFF_h8xc6ZuZHlKRxO0pW-saTEi71TtxLJY-qAk48YSm7NL2Zqz8E/w507-h332/image.png" width="507" /></a></div><br /><br /></div><br /> <p></p>Nokihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16856143453343678103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991156649142951587.post-60532315315277873222020-10-25T05:02:00.000-05:002020-10-25T05:02:35.057-05:00We've all been there<p> <span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px;">Hey, we've all been there.</span><span class="Apple-converted-space" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px;">You think, "Just a little.</span><span class="Apple-converted-space" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px;">It won't hurt."</span></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">But you're wrong.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>It seems harmless.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>You give in, just that little bit.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>But it doesn't stop there, does it?<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>It feels good.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Just that little bit feels soooo good.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>But then, you can't stop.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>You think, "Just a little bit more will be alright."<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>But that's not the end.</p><p class="p1" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Every little bit of ground you give weakens your resolve more.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>The pleasure, the high, it's almost sexual.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>You surrender more and more ground.</p><p class="p1" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Pretty soon, you're avoiding the public eye, looking for ways to make it feel better, all the while, deep inside, just wishing you could stop.</p><p class="p1" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Because you know that, at some point, it won't feel good.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>You know that when you reach rock bottom, it's no longer about pursuing pleasure, but avoiding pain.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>And you know that it's only going to get worse.</p><p class="p1" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">But there is hope.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Sometimes, you need medical intervention.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Sometimes, just some willpower is enough.</p><p class="p1" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">But sometimes, all you need is a friend.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>A family member.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Someone who understands.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Someone who has been where you are now, and knows what it's like.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Someone who can give you the emotional support you need to make it through the night.</p><p class="p1" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Someone to say, "Stop scratching!"</p>Nokihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16856143453343678103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991156649142951587.post-38942262720179206222020-08-19T14:55:00.003-05:002020-08-19T14:57:49.394-05:00Let's Talk About Progress<p> I hear some of you talking about the "good ol' days". You want things to go back to the way they were, before they turned "bad". You want to return to a simpler time, with ye olde values and morals</p><p>I hear you. And I agree. Let's do that.</p><p>And let's start with you.</p><p>How far back should we go? To the 50's? Native Americans weren't considered US citizens, still, but you "good ol' days" people don't care about that. Why would you? You weren't affected. </p><p>How about the crime rate? You complain about the increase in crime, so let's turn back the clock. In the 50's, lead pipes were commonplace, and weren't properly treated. Everyone's taps basically served lead dissolved in muddy water. The result? Mental deterioration leading to violence. Diminished intellectual capacity. Shortened life spans. Forget that the violent crime rate has been steadily declining since the 70's, when the governments started taking environmental lead levels seriously.</p><p>Or maybe you want to go a bit further back. Jim Crow isn't enough for you, you like the antebellum days. Okay, let's see what we have...</p><p>Are you a woman? You can't vote. You can't have a bank account without your husband's permission. No husband? Then you can't have a bank account at all. And don't you dare get caught wearing pants.</p><p>Are you a man? Great! You'll love the life you have, dominating the world because of an accident of birth. Granted, you have no access to air conditioning, you smell like a wet dog, and you're going to die before you reach 40 (if you're lucky). Sure, instead of taking your car to a mechanic four times a year, you have to spend two hours a day tending to your horse, but these are the "good ol' days", right? Before modern medicine, before television, of course if you need to send an emergency message to family across the country, perhaps telling them that your child died of typhoid fever, since vaccines haven't been invented yet, you can always walk to the nearest town and pay to send a telegraph, assuming you're lucky enough to live where one is available. Just be careful if you can't afford shoes, antibiotics haven't been discovered yet, so if you have to lose your leg to a bone saw while you're wide awake, you'll be using a peg leg.</p><p>Perhaps you just feel that we should keep the benefits of the very technology that the clergy forbade, and just return to the religious values. After all, people knew right from wrong, because they all went to church and learned from a good, wholesome preacher (or to temple and learned from a rabbi, etc.). Great! Nothing could go wrong. And it's a good thing that man is honest, right? Because since so many people couldn't read, they had to take his word on what the book in question said.</p><p>Are you left handed? Too bad, you must be possessed. You will be burned at the stake.</p><p>Are you reading this post on a computer? Communing with spirits. You will be burned at the stake.</p><p>Epilepsy? Possessed. Too dumb? Possessed. Too smart? Possessed. Eyes an unusual color? Born with a club foot? Your canine teeth came in before your others? Lazy eye?</p><p>You get the picture. But that's alright. None of those apply to you. Of course, when you're accused by the person who wants to marry your spouse and wants you out of the way, you'll need to prove your innocence. Simple enough. We can tie you up and toss you in the river. If you sink to the bottom and die, you're innocent. If you float, you're guilty and must be burned.</p><p>I hear some of you talking about the "good ol' days". You want things to go back to the way they were, before they turned "bad". You want to return to a simpler time, with ye olde values and morals.</p><p>You're wrong. This year (2020) notwithstanding, we're living in the best time to be alive. The poorest people in most countries have a higher standard of living than royalty did in the past. We have longer lifespans, lower crime rates. We can cure diseases, grow food crops in warehouses. We've been to the moon. We have robots exploring Mars. More information is available to more people than ever before.</p><p>It's called "progress". But progress includes racial justice. It includes gender equality. It includes gay people being allowed to marry, and trans people being allowed to use public restrooms.</p><p>Yes, we have a long way to go, but the way might not be in the direction you expect. If you're one of the people I was talking about earlier, then you think the way to go is backward. Back to the filth, the war, the ignorance. But you're wrong. The way to go is forward.</p><p>That's what progress is.</p>Nokihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16856143453343678103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991156649142951587.post-64527960660030083442019-07-04T18:21:00.000-05:002019-07-04T18:21:29.558-05:00July the Fourth be with YouToday, large groups of humans are gathered together to celebrate... whatever. It doesn't matter. (I know what it is, it just isn't relevant to this point.) Today, I was invited to join the writhing masses. I chose not to. I used my studies as an excuse, and it's a valid one, but still...<br />
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When I'm surrounded by large groups of humans, I feel as though I don't belong. I feel like an intruder. An impostor, if you will. I feel that they can all relate to each other, and I shouldn't be there, and if anyone noticed me, things would turn nasty. So I avoid such events. I could stand being surrounded by those closest to me, those with whom I feel that I belong, but those days are gone. So alone on the holidays is what's best.<br />
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Now, if those kids would stop pounding on my window, life would get better.Nokihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16856143453343678103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991156649142951587.post-33357656120528602692019-07-01T19:53:00.000-05:002019-07-01T19:53:09.856-05:00Lots about Parking<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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AND another thing....<br />
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When you see a handicapped parking space, do you have the urge to park there, just because no one is pointing a gun at your head, telling you not to? Is it like the urge to pee? Like, you know you don't want too, but you can't stop yourself?<br />
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Are you the guy in this first photo? Parking in the only handicapped parking spot with nary a placard to be found?<br />
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<a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/K3cPpcXpqriTxa6skuHMzeaZsh6Xb34Hh8CkVAywkD8YGqBV0MiJyXan6iEg_SzIf8gasYTMe8X36YWl4tmLXi3bNtzFtY3VtULzFJjabs-4pWmce_Fc-zZmpSHkgna1e2b7N9WdxagaEU8t26eUQ3ilbrStBJpBoV2Kdl1hKnx8oUYojiNJxtuB1ZGLt0hH3_NEiyNoPKAfaSyFaNMZrU2MEroZZYDIPY9CCddzyCoxaNlnmswoo93e-WYHjcVLm2XyK4xFiw6Ouwp4p44JNHMQC6iu-TNWcJsvegLMF52cmJSnDtX8cQQ8xsaPXgAbyvZDivdq-CDACvayLvGo2CON2YBo85LdbVb39cZSeZbiM_9eMX4hCl1SSrcKxGPAjJTZF7MjoCKw3Tgp8mhaMjejDx6Uzkf8dwW6mFTXZCIRaFy8biIHaKQs1qJydrBLgDLjnM1H4-5FQjU073n-z4fo-WfOg-EXaDdFKpQpynHdA9YP7zDxcC2lv4V2BsX1IRFG2xqbqXr-4wTqyDnhmRrwKnWyGIOgg2vhxfMS8yjBrG5oCQ71tRowBlsCrlqf6izAdXAGRHcGzeXi-pD5dcZEV5-aCFovn-VJCYBTXRp-IAU9uQ7yGcjaZu6PI9A0-ogBzrxetoNmCpHyPf5cwJtP_sifKWY=w1205-h904-no" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/K3cPpcXpqriTxa6skuHMzeaZsh6Xb34Hh8CkVAywkD8YGqBV0MiJyXan6iEg_SzIf8gasYTMe8X36YWl4tmLXi3bNtzFtY3VtULzFJjabs-4pWmce_Fc-zZmpSHkgna1e2b7N9WdxagaEU8t26eUQ3ilbrStBJpBoV2Kdl1hKnx8oUYojiNJxtuB1ZGLt0hH3_NEiyNoPKAfaSyFaNMZrU2MEroZZYDIPY9CCddzyCoxaNlnmswoo93e-WYHjcVLm2XyK4xFiw6Ouwp4p44JNHMQC6iu-TNWcJsvegLMF52cmJSnDtX8cQQ8xsaPXgAbyvZDivdq-CDACvayLvGo2CON2YBo85LdbVb39cZSeZbiM_9eMX4hCl1SSrcKxGPAjJTZF7MjoCKw3Tgp8mhaMjejDx6Uzkf8dwW6mFTXZCIRaFy8biIHaKQs1qJydrBLgDLjnM1H4-5FQjU073n-z4fo-WfOg-EXaDdFKpQpynHdA9YP7zDxcC2lv4V2BsX1IRFG2xqbqXr-4wTqyDnhmRrwKnWyGIOgg2vhxfMS8yjBrG5oCQ71tRowBlsCrlqf6izAdXAGRHcGzeXi-pD5dcZEV5-aCFovn-VJCYBTXRp-IAU9uQ7yGcjaZu6PI9A0-ogBzrxetoNmCpHyPf5cwJtP_sifKWY=w1205-h904-no" width="400" /></a></div>
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Or are you the guy in the second photo? You think to yourself, "That crosshatch looks so pretty. It's next to a handicapped spot, but it's not marked as a handicapped spot, so it must be alright to park there."<br />
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<a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/LwkzaQX__0r903xcHrrHVKFQ3O1lD6-SMXU2xHcAlzMthxQsDW_L1-vxUdzijrn4fm8qcqGKxgWIaexFJR5HJfcFfkQP72976G-NgVOspn5qQfdAorq0BiGv4FuIVtembQGDTcG6oPvp57NUBPrZC_O2Rlw-4f3SEjE9mm1cFHE0pTytstTyZeogK49ZLrrqIGOseinNndrJWKN5ahVf9268UGNAoB8_eOQwnWk0T7BhOe7kbbK8dbLoiHcb_LhkPkNApzWi3sZauUoZlbmc_YasOfyN-NLSexNISYPdeI5BrKIBibRE_3gMyRh9akDVfDyARATjpyg38-H8WO7uLwv9PPmaD20AyCIgCIo3fd2nmYFUOU3dvrvAJgKU1wp8_HEPW81tMHzgKQqXc3eb3uzZSb-3009eEiluDGsEARtsSs9URHMD_y7DvrdU-49wXB31kufXNxLXa-r3_I6nCN0C51gGMR_P_roLdzHj1TMtAyBlIbBFH1ouyn9x1aVyIOpDVi_2I4vOBdUbBFBcxeF5Qr6NYsae9X4nnk5b65O-iukE5P7IMV2SMYAFota4YN50YIDWT9Gw3mvSu9MyA6NoGR_d_PjDioNGNljMAi-ZanlbUDHsRGIojDf_y4LZgLPWrcNYcUctQpnYkCUXGC71sVDhG7s=w1205-h904-no" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/LwkzaQX__0r903xcHrrHVKFQ3O1lD6-SMXU2xHcAlzMthxQsDW_L1-vxUdzijrn4fm8qcqGKxgWIaexFJR5HJfcFfkQP72976G-NgVOspn5qQfdAorq0BiGv4FuIVtembQGDTcG6oPvp57NUBPrZC_O2Rlw-4f3SEjE9mm1cFHE0pTytstTyZeogK49ZLrrqIGOseinNndrJWKN5ahVf9268UGNAoB8_eOQwnWk0T7BhOe7kbbK8dbLoiHcb_LhkPkNApzWi3sZauUoZlbmc_YasOfyN-NLSexNISYPdeI5BrKIBibRE_3gMyRh9akDVfDyARATjpyg38-H8WO7uLwv9PPmaD20AyCIgCIo3fd2nmYFUOU3dvrvAJgKU1wp8_HEPW81tMHzgKQqXc3eb3uzZSb-3009eEiluDGsEARtsSs9URHMD_y7DvrdU-49wXB31kufXNxLXa-r3_I6nCN0C51gGMR_P_roLdzHj1TMtAyBlIbBFH1ouyn9x1aVyIOpDVi_2I4vOBdUbBFBcxeF5Qr6NYsae9X4nnk5b65O-iukE5P7IMV2SMYAFota4YN50YIDWT9Gw3mvSu9MyA6NoGR_d_PjDioNGNljMAi-ZanlbUDHsRGIojDf_y4LZgLPWrcNYcUctQpnYkCUXGC71sVDhG7s=w1205-h904-no" width="400" /></a></div>
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Wrong, Dumb*ss. The crosshatch is there to mark an area to be left clear for the purpose of loading and unloading mobility devices, or persons in wheelchairs who require loading ramps or lifts. When you park in the crosshatch, you're impeding a disabled person from doing about his, her, or their daily business the same that anyone else would.<br />
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To the other guy... I don't care if you ARE just making a delivery (although this time you were there for hours). Those spots are sometimes closer to the relevant buildings. Other times they provide the extra space for the aforementioned loading and unloading.<br />
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Handicapped spaces aren't just handed out willy-nilly. A doctor determines the need of the patient and writes a letter to the DMV, and the DMV (or tax office) provides placards and/or license plates. The world is built to allow able-bodied people to get around and do stuff. Accommodations such as special parking are something we do to balance the scales a bit and make life easier for people who basically start off with a significant disadvantage. No one is asking you to smile or be polite or even show the same courtesy you show the teenagers you're creeping on at the mall (you know who you are). All I'm asking is that you KEEP YOUR SORRY *SS OUT OF THE PARKING SPOT TO WHICH YOU AREN'T ENTITLED. It's that simple. <i>And it's the law.</i><br />
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And, for the record, from now on, I'll be doing what I should have been doing all along. From now on, I WILL contact the police when I see this. That is the correct/recommended response, and I'm tired of just sitting idly by.Nokihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16856143453343678103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991156649142951587.post-49238851683378920622019-06-29T22:43:00.002-05:002019-06-29T23:23:28.568-05:00Putting the TV in LGBTSo, I know someone who's having trouble finding shows to watch. Every time he comes to the part where someone kisses someone of the same sex, he turns off the show and says he's "tired of them shoving [homosexuality] in [his] face". He then has to find a different movie or television show.<br />
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So far, I've been polite enough not to speak up, for my own reasons, but I keep wanting to grab him by his big ears and shout, "Shove it in your face? By that, do you mean, existing? This show's not about them, they just happen to be there. Can they exist without you having kittens?"<br />
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I think this attitude is part of the overall problem. Someone sees that someone in the LGBTQIA community exists (or, for that matter, someone Autistic or even just a nerd) and they flip their sh*t about it. Look, Just because someone exists within your awareness doesn't mean they're imposing on you. If they're in your house, stealing your cat, yes, they must suffer your righteous wrath, but if they're in a side plot, donning hybrid ballistic armor and preparing for battle against overwhelming odds, even if they take that moment to express physical affection toward a team mate who shares a similar genital alignment, don't worry about it. Just grab your extra armor cartridges and make sure your radio works. If someone who's female-presenting walks into a women's restroom and you have doubts about that person's chromosomal configuration, consider the fact that there are at least five known configurations of the common sex chromosomes, plus conditions that make those not work properly, plus other things, plus even if none of that is the case and you ask for the woman's birth certificate she's well within her rights beat you until you like it, no matter what that birth certificate says.<br />
<br />
And if all of this is happening on television, get over yourself. Remember the old Amos and Andy show? White actors. African Americans had to go through decades of struggle (and about three different group names) to get proper representation. Remember The Lone Ranger? From 2013? Johnny Depp as Tonto? Native Americans still have to fight for representation, sometimes. So, if LGBTQIA persons constitute (I think) between 10 and 11 percent of the population, why can't they occasionally appear in movies without someone having to go punch a llama?Nokihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16856143453343678103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991156649142951587.post-61427592232840667362018-09-18T16:55:00.000-05:002018-09-18T16:55:07.878-05:00Veteranary ToleranceI received a notification from the VA that I have an appointment Thursday morning. I thought I was finished missing work (after today). I tried to check online, but the website has been down all day.<br />
<br />
So, since I was here, at the VA, missing work, I asked the information desk. The guy there said, "I don't know about Thursday. All I see is something for the 20th."<br />
<br />
I was about to walk away, when I grabbed him by the collar and pulled him across the desk, and asked very pointedly, "The 20th?"<br />
<br />
"Y-yes." He sounded frightened for some reason.<br />
<br />
"Thursday, the 20th?"<br />
<br />
"Yes, Ma'am."<br />
<br />
"That's the day I'm looking for. What is it about? Where is it?"<br />
<br />
"All I can see is it's in The Clinic."<br />
<br />
"Just, 'The Clinic'?"<br />
<br />
"<gulp> Yes, Ma'am."</gulp><br />
<br />
I let him go so he could change pants and proceeded to travel to every clinic in this gosh-awful place until I found one that could look it up. "It's in the Women's Clinic."<br />
<br />
"Are they still open?"<br />
<br />
"Yes, until 4:30."<br />
<br />
I walked 12 miles to the women's clinic, and found the doors locked. It was 1615 (4:15 PM, for those of you who neither served nor learned to fake it while telling time). So I walked outside and traveled 8 miles to the outside doors. Also locked.<br />
<br />
I tried the phone number, which has never worked as long as I've been able to dial a phone. I called the main number, chose the option for "Primary Care" and was routed back to the main number, as always. I selected the option to speak with a humanoid, and was routed to the main number, as always.<br />
<br />
I briefly considered setting myself on fire in the lobby as a warning to others, but decided that would hurt. Also, I didn't have any matches. Now, I have to decide... do I come in Thursday morning and miss work and not even know why I'm coming in? Or do I ignore it and pretend that I care as much about them as they do about veterans?<br />
<br />
If it's actually important, they'll call me to reschedule, right?Nokihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16856143453343678103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991156649142951587.post-79596215827605325562016-07-01T13:29:00.000-05:002016-07-01T13:29:49.729-05:00Mission: IncredulousMy mission: Infiltrate a government office. Connect an encrypted laptop to the network. Print my travel form. Egress without being seen.<br />
<br />
First, I would don black pants, black boots, a black turtleneck, and a balaclava. Then, I would procede to the government building on Polk Street. I would park in the back parking lot, start playing the Mission Impossible theme song on my phone, and climb the stairs to the third floor. From there, I would take a freight elevator to the basement, sneak into the IT office, connect to the network, print and sign my paperwork, place it in the manager's inbox, and be gone without a trace, obtaining a milkshake on the way home.<br />
<br />
At midnight, I started donning the clothes to be used for the mission.<br />
OK, so I realized I don't own boots. Nor a black turtleneck. Nor black pants. Nor a balaclava. OK, so I just went with the clothes I already had on.<br />
Then, I drove to the office. Well, I ran into some difficulty, as the road was closed for construction. I took a detour, but the detour was closed for construction. So I took a back route not on the maps.<br />
<br />
I arrived at the office and placed the encrypted laptop into an innocuous messenger bag. I put on my headphones and started playing the Mission Impossible theme song.<br />
<br />
I found the back stairwell locked, and it would not respond to my key card. I tried the back elevator, but it would not respond to my key card. I went around to the side entrance, but it would not respond to my key card. Giving up on stealth, I walked to the front entrance. The doors were locked and the security guards were absent, so no one could let me in.<br />
<br />
Hanging my head in shame, I stopped the music. I had not earned the Mission Impossible theme song this night. I walked back to my car and headed home.<br />
<br />
On the way home, I forgot to stop for a milkshake. It's just as well... I had not earned a milkshake this night.Nokihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16856143453343678103noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991156649142951587.post-17167030950780766732015-05-01T12:10:00.000-05:002015-05-03T01:17:55.502-05:00State of Affairs<div class="blogaway-section">
Well, it's official. I am now a government employee. I have just started my job as a Regional Network Specialist for the Texas Health and Human Services Committee.<br />
<br />It's not as fancy as it sounds.<br />
<br />I can't say much about my job. It's not a federal job, so I would't have to kill you if I told you anything, but it's a state job, so I could be fined and go to prison, depending on what I said, so I'll be careful until I get a feel for this place.<br />
<br />In the mean time, I know I promised more LifeHacker articles, and yes, they will come. The next one will be on overcoming procrastination. I know it seems ironic, but this time I honestly haven't been procrastinating. I've gone back to school, working on my next degree, and that's a full-time "job", but I've also desperately been searching for work, which is also a full-time "job", so I've been genuinely busy. And now, I have a fur-realz full-time job, so that plus being a full-time college student means that I'm geunuinely busy, so I'm not really procrastinating.<br />
<br />BUT... I shall, nevertheless, publish an article soon regarding overcoming procrastination. And yes, there's more to it than just "do it now".<br />
<br />Oh, did I mention that I'm testing a mobile app for creating and editing blog entries? Let's see how this works out.</div>
<br />Nokihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16856143453343678103noreply@blogger.com0Houston, United States29.7342364 -95.318214tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991156649142951587.post-7028430647012945562015-04-07T23:13:00.002-05:002015-04-07T23:13:39.950-05:00That's So Meta<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So, I was sitting at my computer, which was, at that time, temporarily located in a public space. I was pondering the concept of metahumans. My aforementioned friend Jean entered the public area to acquire a snack. I turned to her and said, "So, I've been pondering the concept of metahumans."</span><div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">She turned to me and said, "This is why we can't have adult conversations." And she walked out.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Anyway... what Jean didn't understand, and still doesn't, is that I was being completely serious.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So we come to the crux of this particular article. (Isn't that cute? How I called my blog entry an "article", as if I'm a journalist?) What I want to ask is this... Do metahumans exist?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The answer is... "Weeeellllll.... it's complicated." I'll simplify this answer later, but first let me unsimplify the answer.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">First, what is a metahuman?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The term "metahuman" originated in the D.C. Comics "Invasion" miniseries. It has since been stolen by everyone else. Simply put, it refers to someone who's human, but somehow more than human.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Superman doesn't qualify, because he's not human. (Sorry, Lois.)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Iron Man doesn't qualify, because he doesn't really have superpowers. Just a really cool suit.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Jimmy Olsen doesn't even begin to qualify... he's just a part-time crossdresser with a camera.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">BUT... but... The Flash (in some versions), Spiderman, The Hulk, Barack Obama, Professor X - These have all been labeled as metahuman. Whether they are, and what, exactly, are the criteria for being labeled a metahuman, are matters of debate amongst comics enthusiasts.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And believe me, you <i>don't</i> want to start a debate amongst comics enthusiasts. Do you know how things get whenever a Los Angeles sports team wins, loses, or schedules a game, and suddenly half the city is on fire, cars and buildings are smashed, and the governor has to declare martial law? Well, it's like that. Only without all of the civil discourse.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But, again, I digress. The point is... these are examples of metahumans in comics. But my thoughts here aren't just about comics. Or are they? Do you see any pretty pictures of well-drawn characters? No. No, you don't. Because this isn't about comics. Not really.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This is about real life. Do metahumans really exist?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Let's explore the word just a bit more.... The prefix "meta" means "more than" or "outside of". Essentially, a "metahuman" is someone who is "more than human", or a human whose capabilities are outside the scope of what humans can do.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This is where it gets interesting. Obviously, those people out there who can lift cars with their minds, and who can fly, and who can communicate telepathically with animals, those people are keeping well-hidden. And who can blame them? Between a government that's reputed to dissect curious specimens and religious groups that want to burn everything at the stake, exposing ones self can be dangerous. But what about people who aren't so secret?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When I turned 30, I got my first-ever eye exam. <i>Don't judge me.</i> Anyway, the doctor was flabbergasted by the quality of my vision. He said, "You know those people who get Lasik and then their vision is better than 20/20? Well, your vision is way better than theirs." Of course, it didn't last, and now I have two pairs of glasses, one for reading and one for driving. But at one time, my vision wasn't just good, it was beyond exceptional. And that's just plain ol' me. What about better examples that we KNOW are genetic? (Some purists will argue that to be a true metahuman, one has to actually have the genes for one's abilities, not just have the abilities themselves.)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In Germany, in 2000, a baby was born with a mutation that boosts his muscle growth. At the age of 5, he had twice the muscle mass and half the fat of other children his age. His mother was a professional athlete, and some other members of her family were found to be unusually strong, so this could be a dominant gene.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Some indigenous people in Siberia were found to have a gene that boosts their ability to handle cold temperatures.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Tibetans have a greater lung capacity than people from lower altitudes, allowing them to take in more oxygen from thinner air, and they have other adaptations that help them survive long-term. Sherpas, similarly, have better blood flow to their brains, protecting them from problems with the thinner air.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There are people with resistance to HIV. The gene which, when received from both parents, causes sickle-cell anemia will, when only received from one parent, confer immunity to malaria. People with mutant feet adapted to climbing trees, eyes that see better under water, and people who can eat all the bacon they want without suffering from heart disease.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Bacon!</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The list is pretty extensive. There are seven billion people in the world, and there are lots of mutations happening, and sometimes a gene pops up that convers an advantage. Ain't evolution grand?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My point is, these people have characteristics which, in the D.C. universe, would qualify them as "metahumans". They have abilities that place them outside what's normally considered possible for humans. And it's not through hard work, lightning strikes in chemistry labs, nor magic potions. It's built in, hard coded. So, are these metahumans?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Yes. Or... are they? Consider this....</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Now, to offend any creationists who might stumble across this blog...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Are we apes? Let's consider. I'm not a chimpanzee. I have the same number of fingers and toes, but my toes are shorter (and cuter). We have the same general shape at birth, we have hair follicles all over, but my follicles are less active, and I'm taller as an adult. I'm also physically weaker. But about 99% of my DNA is identical to that of a chimp or bonobo.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you think that's crazy... 50% of your DNA is shared by bananas.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Long ago, animals happened. Some of these became vertebrates, but they were still animals. Some vertebrates became mammals, but they were still vertebrates. Some mammals became apes, but they were still mammals. And some apes became humans, but humans are, like it or not, still apes. Every characteristic that defines an ape still applies to humans. Face it. You're a monkey. Or at least a great ape, with lots of monkey DNA.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So... humans are still apes. Extend that. Eventually, humans will have evolved. It's difficult to say what we'll look like in 500 million years, because evolution isn't a path, just a process, but we'll definitely look different. But we'll still be humans. And apes. And mammals, and vertebrates, and animals.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Unless we leave our bodies behind and become godlike beings of pure energy. But that's for another article.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So... Do metahumans exist? Yes.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But they're still human. And therefore <i>not</i> metahuman.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">See? It's complicated.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And... regarding the incident with Jean...</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It should be noted that, not five minutes later, I was walking past her home office, and she shouted, "Hamcat!" I stopped, backed up, and looked into her office, and she said to me, "Hamcat. HAMCAT!!!" Then she went back to whatever she was typing.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This is how I know I need to move.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
Nokihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16856143453343678103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991156649142951587.post-435148496297265622015-03-29T13:10:00.001-05:002015-03-29T13:14:46.471-05:00Features of Habit<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">habit </b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">/ˈhæb ɪt/ [<i>noun</i>] - 1. an acquired behavior pattern regularly followed until it has become almost involuntary.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Welcome to the first article in my new Lifehacking series. It's taken longer than I anticipated to publish this first article, but please bear in mind that I haven't yet written the one on how to stop procrastinating.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So... habits. We all have them. The word "habit" has taken on negative connotations, lately. We think of habits as being something akin to addiction. Often, one hears phrases like "bad habit", but rarely, if ever, does one hear of a "good habit". But habits are part of us. We're wired to develop habits. And there are very good reasons.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I won't go into it here... consult your local evolutionary psychologist... but simply put, habits are like computer macros. When you develop a habit, your hindbrain can take over that function and free up your forebrain for more important tasks, like reading blogs.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Think about it... do you drive? If so, you probably don't think much about HOW you go about starting and stopping. Do you have to think each time about which pedal is the brake pedal? If so, perhaps you should purchase extra insurance. How about walking? We know we walk, but we don't think much about it. When you drive, do you put on your seatbelt? If so, do you keep a checklist handy that includes the seatbelt, or do you simply use the seatbelt because it's a habit?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Note: as habits go, wearing your seatbelt is a very good one.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Our lives are full of habits that help us get by. You might get into the habit of looking both ways before crossing the street... feeding your children... locking your car doors when a brown person walks by.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I mention that last point to acknowledge that yes, there <i>are</i> bad habits, and they must be addressed.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The point of this lifehack is to take control of your habits. There are two pieces to this...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<ol>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The adoption of positive, helpful habits</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The elimination of negative, or "bad" habits</span></li>
</ol>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To the first point, it would be nice if we could just develop helpful habits whenever we want, just by doing them, right? Right?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Well, we can. No, seriously. Developing a good habit is as simple as doing the thing.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Well, maybe not <i>quite</i> that simple. But that's most of it. Pick a thing that you want to do habitually. Do it each time it's relevant. If you forget to do it, backtrack (where practical) and do the thing. The point here is to build pathways in the brain. We learn to do things by building neural paths. Repetition reinforces those paths and makes them stronger. The act of consciously taking the time to do the extra thing that you want to do actually builds the extra circuit in your brain that, over time, makes the thing happen without you thinking about it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">For example, if you've been driving without a seatbelt, and you want to get into the habit of wearing your seatbelt (good for you!), then the first step is to start bucking up every time you get into your vehicle. I find it's best to do so before starting the vehicle. Mostly because my vehicle makes a nasty noise if I don't.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Now, this part is important... if you find yourself starting your vehicle and realize that you haven't yet put on your seatbelt, stop the engine, and then buckle up and start the engine again.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I know that this can place extra wear and tear on your engine, but it's not much, really, and you know what else costs even more than vehicle maintenance? Getting your face sewn back together after putting it through a windshield.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sounds simple, right? Well, it isn't. Or it is, but not quite as much as I've made it out to be... there's one important detail... forgiveness. This information actually came from a study about procrastination, which I will read, when I get a chance, but it's important in areas like this... apparently there's a quirk in the firmware of the human brain. If you beat yourself up about something, that prevents you from actually overcoming it. So if you forget to do the thing you intend to do, don't feel bad, and don't punish yourself. Just back up (if you can) an do it. Move on with your life.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Now... the second part... overcoming bad habits. This is a bit trickier. It's not about building new pathways in the brain.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Or is it?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It can be. One popular method of breaking a bad habit is to replace it with a different, less-bad habit. It's similar to the method used in 12-step programs such as AA/NA. Have you ever been to one of those meetings? They set out to replace your drug habit (and yes, alcohol <i>is</i> a drug, by definition) with something else. Usually, that involves replacing the drug with a deity (although the term "higher power" is used by those groups that want to continue receiving government money and having people sent to them by the court system), although most of the attendees also take up smoking. Have you ever been to one of those meetings? I've fought oil fires (military training) that produced less smoke.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I want to point out here that the success rate of 12 step programs is exactly the same as the success rate of people who just decide to quit on their own (Dawson, <i>et al.</i>), and while the evidence regarding whether such programs work is as hazy as the meeting rooms, the fact that such programs teach you to give up one type of dependence and replace it with another doesn't sound like the most ideal outcome, to me.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But I digress. The point is, yes, you can overcome bad habits by replacing them with other habits, but that's not the only option.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The brain is quite malleable. Not just in the physical, silly putty sense, but functionally. Studies into neuroplasticity (no, that's not in your spell-check dictionary, but yes, it's a real word) have shown that the brain can adapt to almost any situation. People have lost as much as 80% of their functional brain matter and still managed to graduate at the top of their classes. Stroke victims who lose the ability to walk and speak are often able to relearn those skills. After some therapy and hard work, the functions previously filled by one part of the brain can be taken over by another part.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Is this relevant to overcoming a bad habit, or is it just some really cool information? <b>BOTH</b>! The fact is that, although old habits are a function of paths burned into the brain, those paths can be destroyed. And not just by smoking and praying for help.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's not just a matter of willpower, which is essentially your will fighting against your will. There are many suggestions and methods for accomplishing this, but it breaks down fairly simply...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<ol>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You have to want it. If you don't want to stop doing The Thing, you'll keep doing The Thing. You have to earnestly want to stop doing The Thing.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Be aware of your actions. Often, we continue to do The Thing because we don't realize we're doing it. A future lifehack will discuss self awareness, but essentially you need to become aware that you're doing it so that you can stop.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you normally do The Thing as a step in a particular process, doing the process multiple times, while intentionally skipping The Thing can help. This builds and reinforces pathways in the brain that don't include The Thing.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This one is important... forgive yourself. Yes, this unexpected yet key component to learning a new habit is also key to losing an old habit. If you slip up, if you forget yourself and accidentally do The Thing, don't punish yourself or lose sleep over it. Forgive yourself and move on.</span></li>
</ol>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Again, you might ask.... can it be that simple? Well, yes and no. It looks easier than it is. But over time, it works. And less time than you would think.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A note about my examples above... I know that I used drugs and addiction as examples of bad habits. Yes, there are physical components to some addiction, but essentially, many drug addictions are psychological, and involve brain pathways not unlike those of habits. I don't pretend that overcoming addiction is a matter to be taken lightly, nor do I pretend that drugs are bad just because that's what Ronald Reagan, patron saint of the Republican Party, told me when I was a vulnerable young child. I simply used that example because the information is compatible, and many people can relate.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Notable habits you can learn to your benefit:</span><br />
<br />
<ol>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Seatbelts. Did I mention seatbelts before?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Taking your medication when you eat (especially for diabetics)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Unsupervised physical therapy (for sports and similar injuries)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Daily personal hygiene (I'm looking at you, Albert Blastin)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Eating breakfast</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Allowing for extra travel time when attending a scheduled event</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Reading bedtime stories to your children</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Checking the gas gauge on your car (and also glancing at the tires before driving somewhere)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Making sure you have your keys before locking your vehicle door</span></li>
</ol>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A special note about this last problem... Tired of locking my keys in my vehicle, I intentionally got into the habit of locking my car doors <i>using </i>my keys, rather than using the controls. I've never locked the keys in since, although I've had friends (I'm looking at <i>you</i>, Giordi), who have locked the keys in multiple times when borrowing my car.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And for crying out loud... wear your seatbelt!</span></div>
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Nokihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16856143453343678103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991156649142951587.post-12424889224822890192014-12-19T12:54:00.001-06:002014-12-19T13:38:48.312-06:00Life Hacking: The Series BeginsOK, update on the whole weight loss thing... did you know that you can suddenly start losing weight for no reason if you become diabetic? Unfortunately, I'll have to wait until the seasons change a bit before I can get back to testing the sunlight thing. Or if I can figure out a way to get some sun in relative privacy beforehand, then I can test.<br />
<br />
The "seasons" where I live aren't the traditional Summer, Autumn, Winter, and Spring. They're "Oh dear God it's unbearably hot", "Finally, it's starting to get less unbearable", "It's finally cool enough to go outside without an environment suit", and "Oh, no, it's getting hotter again!" No, the problem isn't that it's too cold to get some sun. It's the position of the shadows of the trees in the back yard.<br />
<br />
So, on to other topics... I'm going to start a new Life Hacker series here on my blog. I've seen lots of "hacks" on the <a href="http://lifehacker.com/" target="_blank">Lifehacker</a> website, but many of them are disappointing. Not because they don't apply to me, because it makes sense that many things that apply to one person won't apply to another, but because nearly all of the "hacks" I read involved invoking or evoking a deity. If I want to read advice that says to pray the stress away or something like that, I'll visit an overtly religious website.<br />
<br />
But I don't.<br />
<br />
Now, I should be clear on this... When I say "hack", I generally am not referring to the word as it has come to be used, which is not the correct meaning at all. To "hack" did not originally mean to crack a code and steal someone's nude selfies. Cutting-related origin aside, in computers, to "hack" originally meant "to find a simple, elegant, creative solution to a complicated programming problem". The original "hackers" were clever programmers who found ways to do things with code that made their professors scratch their heads. At some point, this translated into computer pranks (one of my favorite pastimes) and penetrating security measures (again, one of my favorite pastimes), but originally, it was basically about finding clever solutions and new, better ways of doing things.<br />
<br />
These days, the term is no longer used simply in computers, but in many areas of life. And this is where I want to focus my new series. I don't yet have an outline of the series, because I'm just putting together the beginning details. I know I need certain things.<br />
<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>I need to shorten my commute to work or increase my productivity.</li>
<li>I need to find a new place to live.</li>
<li>In that new place to live, I need to contrive a work space.</li>
<li>I need to have room for my daughter to live with me without either of us losing basic privacy.</li>
<li>I need to work on my health.</li>
<li>I need to find a way to reduce the cost of groceries and other living expenses.</li>
<li>I need to find additional income.</li>
<li>I need to spend more time with my dog.</li>
<li>I need to increase my overall productivity, both at work and in my personal life.</li>
<li>I need to work on my personal appearance.</li>
<li>I need to further my education.</li>
<li>I need to work on my blog more often.</li>
<li>And I need to do all of this within the bounds of a fairly small salary.</li>
</ul>
<br />
<br />
The obvious solution starts with having a job that pays well, or money to fall back on, but those aren't options for me at this time. Therefore, hacks. New, clever ways of doing things. My financial resources are limited, and my time is currently limited. Some of the bullet points above will help with that, but there has to be a starting point. Therefore, I'm going to hack my life. I don't know exactly how I'm going to start, but I'm working on putting together a plan, and I'll share what I learn in my new Life Hacking series.<br />
<br />
I have to set my goals. I started with the basics. If you look at a build-it-yourself project, like on the Make Magazine website, it starts with a list of "materials and tools you'll need". Well, for the most basic of these, I need a job - Check. I just spent half a year unemployed, so I'm still working on getting caught up, but that's in progress, so soon I'll be able to move on. That said....<br />
<br />
Hack 1: Set up payments. If you owe money from a period of hardship, you can usually set up automated payments. Take your expenses, figure out the most you can afford to pay back each pay period, and then cut that in half. That's the amount you should pay each pay period. If you have something set up, then you don't have to worry about it after that. It should take care of itself. Just try to figure out when it will be paid and then make sure the payments stop at that time. Some companies will continue to charge as long as you allow them to do so. I owe a little money to my bank, so I have them take a small portion of my direct deposit. In two weeks, that should be paid off.<br />
<br />
Hack 2: Prioritize the things that you need to catch up on. If you've been unemployed or otherwise financially burdened, you might have several things to pay up. You need to set your priorities.<br />
<br />
<ol>
<li>Things that will get you arrested are priority one. Get your car's registration and insurance done, pay any fines owed, that sort of thing.</li>
<li>Things that affect your health and welfare are next.</li>
<li>Things that affect other things are next. Get your car serviced if it needs service, because that car might be needed to get to work. Make sure to get your phone bill paid. Internet access can also fall here, if it's necessary for your work or other IMPORTANT things. If you only use it for entertainment, it can fall to the bottom of the list.</li>
</ol>
<div>
It's all about priorities. Make a list of things that need to be paid off, in order from most dire and immediate to least dire. If you really think about what's the most important, you might just decide that some things you've been paying for for years aren't worth keeping around.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
These are two starter hacks. Simple, yes, straightforward, yes, and obvious, maybe. But things that seem obvious are often overlooked. That priorities list is something I haven't seen mentioned elsewhere, but that I've never done before.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
So, here's the deal... I'm looking at changing my life. It's not a bad life, really, but I think it could be improved. The improvement will involve all areas of my life, hopefully making them work better together, and, in the end, improve my quality and enjoyment of life. And I want to share anything I figure out that helps. I'm going to change my life for the better, period, and if I can help you change yours for the better, then everyone wins.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
So that's what the new series is about. I got back on my feet, so next I need to find a place to live, and then I need to work on the things dependent on having a home, and so on, and I want to do a better job than I've done up to this point, and I want to share anything I learn. I hope I'm able to convey information that helps people out there, and I look forward to seeing what happens.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
On a side note, this could become a collaborative project. It's the biggest thing I've ever worked on, and I've worked on some doozies, and yes, I know that I ended a sentence fragment with a preposition, and I would like to hear any non-preposition suggestions, comments, or questions. If you don't want to add a comment to this blog, you can <a href="mailto:ashley@ankconsulting.net" target="_blank">e-mail me</a>.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Insert clever ending here, and let's get hacking!</div>
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<br /></div>
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</div>
Nokihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16856143453343678103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991156649142951587.post-84569963241117010662014-08-13T14:12:00.001-05:002014-08-13T14:12:28.943-05:00Photosynthetic PhilosophyI've discovered a new, wonderful thing! Druids heal when exposed to sunlight.<br />
<br />
No, think about it. Have you ever heard of a Druid dying of skin cancer? Maybe. But not skin cancer from the sun, because if a Druid gets skin cancer from UV rays from the sun, the cancer cells immediately "heal" into normal cells. Druids who don't get enough sun can suffer from all kinds of problems.<br />
<br />
What's my source, you ask? Because shut up. That's why.<br />
<br />
Anyway... isn't it wonderful? I've noticed that since I started getting sun at least twice a week I've lost about twenty pounds a month, without making any other changes.<br />
<br />
So, not only do Druids heal from sunlight, but we also get healthier. This has possibilities.Nokihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16856143453343678103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991156649142951587.post-45109832702353406992014-08-11T15:34:00.002-05:002014-08-11T15:34:24.731-05:00When Knowledge Takes Root, New Ideas GerminateOK, new plan. After planting those seeds, I started actually reading up on the raising of trees from seeds. What a concept! As it turns out, you can't just plant apple seeds and have them grow right away.<br />
<br />
I had been thinking of what we did in elementary school, which involved taking dried beans and watching them germinate in moist paper towels in the windows. Those beans sprouted little plants within days.<br />
<br />
In other words, those beans <i>lied to me</i>.<br />
<br />
Apple seeds germinate during the winter, apparently. Since I currently live in Texas, where "winter" is a euphemism for "the coolest part of summer", I had to simulate Winter. I placed four seeds in a moistened paper towel, put that into a plastic bag, and put that into the refrigerator.<br />
<br />
Fast forward to today. Four weeks after I put the seeds into an artificially cold environment, I checked on them. One tiny little guy has germinated.<br />
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<br />
<br />
The others show no signs of life, as yet, so I put them back and kept this one out. Now, on to planting.<br />
<br />
Now, as much as I would LOVE to have a little bonsai at my desk, my current setup doesn't have room for a bonsai. SO I decided to look at other things I could do.<br />
<br />
My roommate, Jean, was complaining about all of the empty bottles and jars I've been collecting, with an emphasis on the fact that I can't use one of my alternate "planting pots" when placing plants outside. Now, I don't know that an apple tree can be kept as a desk plant, and I definitely want to give this little thing room to grow. I didn't have any actual pots handy, and definitely need to get a big one for this, so I decided to go with something <i>very</i> non-traditional.<br />
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<br />
Did I select a pill box for planting my first apple tree? Yes. Yes, I did. But wait, hear me out...<br />
<br />
The cardboard box is ideal for planting a new seedling, because it's small enough to move easily, and will have no problems holding the soil. And when it's time to replant, I don't actually have to remove the box. I can plant the box right into the soil of the bigger pot, and the box will become compost.<br />
<br />
So, I folded the flaps inside the box, to reinforce the strength of the box, but, more importantly, to get them out of my way so that I could think.<br />
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<br />
I added soil to the box, filling it about half-way. Then, I dropped the seed into the center and filled the box the rest of the way.<br />
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The potting soil I chose is, according to the label, formulated for vegetables, fruits, flowers, and herbs. I figured apples might fall somewhere under there, so I used that kind. Next, for moisture.<br />
<br />
Obviously, cardboard's One True Weakness is water. Well, water and fire. I'm concerned with water. I need to be able to water my little plant. Due to the way these boxes are coated in some kind of shiny mystery layer, I wasn't worried about the box falling apart, as long as I didn't overwater, but obviously the box would still leak water through the bottom. So I needed something to catch and hold the excess moisture.<br />
<br />
Enter the lid. I took a jar lid that would have gone into the trash and cleaned it thoroughly.<br />
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<br />
And that's it. I added just enough water to moisten the soil (I hoped) and the runoff sits in the lid. As the soil dries, some of the water should soak up from the lid back into the soil.<br />
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And that's it for now. Let's see how this seed turns out, and also let's see how long it takes before Jean starts screaming, "You planted a tree in <i>what</i>?!?!?"<br />
<br />Nokihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16856143453343678103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991156649142951587.post-81355894348372332872014-07-14T16:57:00.000-05:002014-07-14T16:57:02.771-05:00The Roots of a New IdeaOK.... so.... on a lighter note than I've been using lately...<br />
<br />
I'm thirsty. Like, all the time thirsty. I've had diabetics watch me chugging water, and tell me to slow down. For the record, I'm not diabetic. I'm just the thirstiest person I've ever met.<br />
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Water is great. Cleaner water is better, of course. Still, who wants to drink just water? It's unhealthy to drink more than a gallon or two of plain water per day. I used to do that, when I distilled water for a living, but it flushed nutrients out of my body and caused issues.<br />
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Enter the juices. Variety is the spice of life, as it were. So when I go to the grocery store, I look at various flavored drinks, mostly aimed at children, distilled and spring water, and fruit juice.<br />
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The trick with fruit juice is that many of them are loaded with extra sugar, high fructose corn syrup (HFCS), extra acids (citric is a huge one), and other additives. I'm not afraid of some additives, but most of the things added to fruit juice destroy the taste. Ignoring the health implications of various additives, particularly HFCS, fruit juice that has added sugars just doesn't taste right. And the additional acids? Orange juice is already highly acidic. Why add more acid? Some brands of orange juice literally burn when I drink them. So I don't. And apple juice... whose bright idea was it to add two kinds of acid to apple juice? And whose idea was it to then label it as "100% pure apple juice"? Seriously?<br />
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So I read the ingredients list. One thing I've found that I want to share is a brand called <a href="http://www.simplyorangejuice.com/" target="_blank">Simply Orange</a>. They make the purest, yummiest orange juice that I've found. They also make other juices and juice mixtures (like orange and banana, if you can believe such a thing). Another brand I've found that's pretty good is <a href="http://www.motts.com/" target="_blank">Mott's Apple Juice</a>.<br />
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Note: I'm not being paid by either of these manufacturers. I simply want to share them with everyone. Added sugars and other ingredients are a significant factor in the health crisis that goes largely unreported in this country, mostly affecting young people. When I find something this good, I want to get the word out there.<br />
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Anyway, dietary considerations aside, let's get on to my idea, which has nothing to do with nutrition.<br />
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In searching for juices that were consumable in large quantities, I found a brand I didn't know (Mott's), and it was being sold in small child-sized bottles. I saw an opportunity to try it without having to buy a whole gallon, and found the small bottles to be convenient, in addition to the juice being better than most other brands.<br />
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As I stared at a bottle I as about to throw away, I was hit with an idea. See if you can see where my thinking was headed:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-_PEN6RmtQbm1FzTkUHpccJywIpeM-ppIEGAHgwAr_vMZuyZiw9vILiNq_woZPlF9SvbARuewzHqjHsSWkBtmsQtcsn8ZN26GsFww4qK1m9tCRpeUafFCP8akfWe9Ee16Mv9Hvnhftag/s1600/bottle.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-_PEN6RmtQbm1FzTkUHpccJywIpeM-ppIEGAHgwAr_vMZuyZiw9vILiNq_woZPlF9SvbARuewzHqjHsSWkBtmsQtcsn8ZN26GsFww4qK1m9tCRpeUafFCP8akfWe9Ee16Mv9Hvnhftag/s1600/bottle.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
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This was the empty bottle. It's made of plastic. I've been thinking about "green" things lately, like alternative energy, rooftop gardens, and reusing packing materials. It occurred to me... I could cut off the top of the bottle and use it for a teensy planting pot.<br />
<br />I've also been thinking about growing baby plants.<br />
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So I cut off the top just above where the label is, and I removed the label just for aesthetics. I washed out the bottle because I didn't want anything growing on the residue of the juice. Then, I purchased a small bag of potting soil. A little soil in the bottle, followed by two seeds from an apple, and I had myself a cute and obviously homemade potted plant. Or what WILL be a pottled plant once the seeds sprout.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEYXKm3-BxuFg-Z2560A2Ft9k99PTF2R4ZImkbipdY4qhKra5CMPnMrzcL0BGJ0q6sq8rKhQW13X5J1cNLf2Fo_MTnJqjb7_EwftAGiNf5eMJzOvk9iw160J2RtAY1wSAeFGG3ZPyASP0/s1600/potted+plant+day+zero.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEYXKm3-BxuFg-Z2560A2Ft9k99PTF2R4ZImkbipdY4qhKra5CMPnMrzcL0BGJ0q6sq8rKhQW13X5J1cNLf2Fo_MTnJqjb7_EwftAGiNf5eMJzOvk9iw160J2RtAY1wSAeFGG3ZPyASP0/s1600/potted+plant+day+zero.jpg" height="320" width="301" /></a></div>
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Of course, I'll need to wait a while before the seeds turn into anything beyond the barest of plants. Longer still until they need to be transplanted. Still, that gives me time. I hope to move soon, and to have more room for the plants with which I wish to surround myself. Apple trees are often bearing fruit during their first decade, so I might get some fresh apples from these guys. I also hope to plant some orange seeds, but those are trickier. I'm not sure how well they'll do in the climate where I live.<br />
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But even if I raise them as indoor trees, keeping their size small and using "grow bulbs" to provide the sunlight they might not always get, they'll be plants, and the benefits are numerous.<br />
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For one thing, there's the aforementioned fruit. If your trees bear edible fruit, then planting them is worth the effort. Also, they provide oxygen. Not a lot, individually, but if you surround yourself with enough plants, the slight elevation in oxygen levels might be beneficial.<br />
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Other benefits are less direct. For example, if you're surrounded by plants, you'll need to provide sunlight for them. While direct UV can be harmful in large quantities, it's a simple fact that for people who don't have certain rare conditions, more sunlight has benefits. We didn't evolve in air conditioned interiors with window shades We evolved in the open. As our ancestors left the more heavily wooded areas, we also lost the ability to produce certain vitamins without sunlight. Also, more exposure to sunlight can sometimes help with conditions such as <a href="http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/seasonal-affective-disorder/basics/definition/con-20021047" target="_blank">SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder)</a>, a form of depression that affects many people. Also, for many people, being surrounded by plants offers some emotional boosts simply because they're surrounded by plants.<br />
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I'm looking at you, Druids. And Buddhists. And Celts, and Native Americans, and hippies, and children, and Cajuns, and botanists, and librarians, and farmers, and the list goes on.<br />
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So this little pot of "gold" holds what I hope to be my future - a future wherein I'm surrounded by plants, some of them feeding me, some of them looking pretty, but all of them green and alive and happy (to the extent that plants can be said to be happy). And if that small bottle holds my future apple trees, what should I do with this?<br />
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That's a one-gallon bottle that previously held spring water. I had saved them for various reasons, and then a roommate threw most of them away. I kept one that I had dried out and was using to store coins that are older than I am. (Apparently, my age is the marker some of my friends use to define "antique"). I kept another for storing pennies to <a href="http://keytoflow.blogspot.com/2011/07/penny-floors.html" target="_blank">use to decorate a kitchen floor</a> or something similar. Perhaps a desk top. In this case, though, I think it will make a nice pot for a plant that's too large for a hand-held bottle.<br />
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I'll post more such ideas as I come up with them.<br />
<br />Nokihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16856143453343678103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991156649142951587.post-20217486513616243402014-07-04T16:51:00.000-05:002014-07-04T17:28:49.686-05:00The White Cloaks under the Black RobesIt occurs to me that the recent <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burwell_v._Hobby_Lobby" target="_blank">Hobby Lobby decision</a> isn't sexist... it's racist.<br />
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First, I need to take a moment to apologize for my previous blog. I had intended to marvel at the wonder of the scientific process, and how it's less a method of obtaining new technologies than it is a new way of thinking, and one that can lead to yet more way of thinking. <i>Instead</i>, I slipped into a rant on politics, and that was not my intention. I apologize. Perhaps one day soon I can fix that and do the post I had intended.<br />
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<i>Any</i>way.... where was I? Racist! Right....<br />
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I've concluded that the whole thing was racist, not sexist.<br />
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Wait, hear me out.<br />
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It's true that the ruling itself was a blow against women. Some people are trying to argue that it's not serious.<br />
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"It only applies to birth control."<br />
"It only applies to certain types of businesses."<br />
"They can just use a condom."<br />
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Some people are making the whole thing out to be a minor issue with little impact. I <i>could</i> just tell them to tell that to the women who work for stores like Hobby Lobby. (I wasn't able to find statistics on how many women work for Hobby Lobby, but they have about 21,000 employees, so I'm going to guess.... a lot.) But I don't even need to go with that argument. Instead, I can argue consequences.<br />
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Insert philosophy police here.<br />
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This is one of the few cases I've seen where the "Slippery Slope" argument is applicable, rather than being a logical fallacy. It goes back to the first argument above.<br />
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The problem with a "Slippery Slope" argument is that, often, it's used to complain that event A will lead to event B, where event A and event B contain some fundamental difference that makes them actually two separate issues. As an example, idiots complain that legalizing same-sex marriage will lead to legal pedophilia. The key difference here is that same-sex marriage, like <i>all</i> marriages, is between two consenting adults, whereas pedophilia involves at least one party who <i>legally can't</i> give consent. (For the purposes of this article, I'm going to avoid the pedophilia vs. child molestation dichotomy.)<br />
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On the other hand, the "Slippery Slope" argument accurately applies to the Hobby Lobby decision thusly: The US Supreme Court ruled that certain corporations have religious rights that trump the religious rights of employees. I referenced the first argument above, and here's how this one argument demonstrates the slope in question. To repeat: the argument is:<br />
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"It only applies to birth control."<br />
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Now, at first, the argument was:</div>
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"It only applies to <i>certain forms of </i>birth control <i>which the owners of Hobby Lobby inaccurately conflate with abortion</i>."</div>
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It was widely argued that only four methods of birth control were restricted, although they were really good methods. A couple of days later, the aforementioned Supreme Court had to point out to the country that no, this didn't apply to just certain forms of birth control... The ruling applies to all forms of birth control. Already, in one aspect of the ruling, we have two different points, and a line drawn through those points leads in a bad direction.</div>
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Here's the slope in general: It started with <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corporate_personhood" target="_blank">Corporate Personhood</a>. The idea there is, simply, that a corporation is legally a "person", having the same rights as a human person (or Natural Person). This <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Legal_fiction" target="_blank">Legal Fiction</a> allows corporations to enter into contracts with other parties, sue or be sued, and a host of other things that make doing business easier (to an extent). The problem is that the origin of legal Corporate Personhood in the US was to allow corporations to have political influence as of they were humans. The Legal Fiction that <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buckley_v._Valeo" target="_blank">equates money with speech</a> allows <i>Corporate Persons</i> to exercise their right to <i>free speech</i> to purchase the laws they want from politicians.</div>
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That's the top of the slope. Corporate Personhood. At that point, for some purposes, a corporation was considered a person. Then, with the more recent Supreme Court ruling, it was determined that some of those <i>Persons</i> have religious freedom, and that those corporations can exert their religious views over the lives of their employees (who may or may not hold the same religious views) with respect to birth control. That's an important detail, seemingly... The Court stated in the ruling that this only applies to birth control.</div>
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Said the majority opinion, "... under the standard that [Religious Freedom Reformation Act] prescribes, the HHS contraceptive mandate is unlawful." Essentially, The <i>Corporate Person</i> has <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_amendment" target="_blank">First Amendment</a> rights that are protected under the RFRA. And those rights take precedence over the First Amendment rights of the employees.</div>
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Now, it's true that the Court stated that this opinion only applies to birth control. This exemption was previously held for non-profit and religious organizations (which are considered non-profit no matter how many millions they make), but it has now been extended to "closely-held for-profit corporations". Another slope. Bear in mind that <i>this same court</i> previously ruled that the entire <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Affordable_Care_Act" target="_blank">Affordable Care Act</a> was constitutional. Now, they're declaring that one part of this act is unconstitutional because it violates the First Amendment rights of Corporate Persons. This clearly indicates that the Supreme Court might later revisit this limitation and decide that other objections that a corporation has on religious grounds are also protected.</div>
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Even Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg wrote in her dissent, "In a decision of startling breadth, the Court holds that commercial enterprises, including corporations, along with partnerships and sole proprietorships, can opt out of any law (saving only tax laws) they judge incompatible with their sincerely held religious beliefs." Even a sitting justice in the Supreme Court agrees that this ruling is part of a Slippery Slope.</div>
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If the corporation can deny birth control to female employees because that corporation mistakenly believes that the Christian holy book opposes birth control, then that means that companies with other religious beliefs can force those beliefs onto the health care of other employees. Blood transfusions, stem cell treatments, psychiatric care, pap smears, vasectomies, HIV medications, eyeglasses, and even medical care in general, can all be denied on religious grounds.</div>
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But wait, there's more! Major religions also support slavery, racial discrimination, sexism, the stoning of infidels, and rape, while prohibiting homosexuality (not just the associated acts, but the condition itself), the eating of shellfish, wearing clothes containing mixed fabrics, planting multiple crops in a single field, working on "the Sabbath" (which can mean either Saturday or Sunday, depending), and the list goes on. There are cases waiting on the court's decision regarding whether a company can opt out of other laws (such as non-discrimination laws) based on religious beliefs.</div>
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The Hobby Lobby decision clearly indicates that the current US Supreme Court is willing to allow exemptions from existing laws, even laws it has already deemed to be constitutional, based entirely on what one claims to sincerely believe. "Claims" is an important word, I think. After all, how does one prove a "sincerely held religious belief"? Let's take another look at Hobby Lobby.</div>
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Hobby Lobby, lime many companies, offers a 401(k) plan. In this plan, they have invested millions of dollars into companies that produce birth control. One method is the Plan B ("Morning After") pill, which Hobby Lobby's lawyers call "abortion". Other forms of birth control which Hobby Lobby wants to deny to its employees are also produced by companies that receive investments under Hobby Lobby's 401(k) plan. And the owners of Hobby Lobby know this. So, why would someone who is opposed to the use of these drugs contribute to their manufacture? It must be part of a larger picture.</div>
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On a side note, Hobby Lobby owners have also been working to get Bible classes into public schools. But that's another subject.</div>
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In trying to understand Hobby Lobby's position, I thought about the Koch Brothers. David and Charles Koch are two billionaire brothers whose father became incredibly wealthy by dealing illegally with Russia during the Cold War. They make an unreasonably large fortune mainly in oil, natural gas, and coal. I don't actually have a problem with this... I wouldn't mind being wealthy, myself, and I don't blame children for the crimes of their parents. What I have to wonder about is this: The Koch brothers have invested millions in funding opposition to the Affordable Care Act. At first, I had to wonder why they would be opposed to poor people getting health care.</div>
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Well, as it turns out, the Kochs are opposed to the ACA because they are opposed to Barack Obama. The ACA was his signature act in office, his crowning accomplishment, if you will. The Kochs are attacking the ACA because they want to discredit the President. This isn't a secret.</div>
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So, back to Hobby Lobby... Why would a company that <i>doesn't actually oppose</i> birth control fight so hard to earn exemption from the birth control part of the ACA, opening the door to a situation where religious extremists can impose their dogma on others? To work toward discrediting the President.</div>
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How is this racist, you ask? Good question.</div>
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Barack Obama isn't the first Democrat to be elected President. In fact, his skin color is the only demographic fact to separate him from previous Demographic Presidents. Let's review the facts.</div>
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No other President has ever been required to provide his birth certificate after entering office. Obama was asked to provide his, provided it, then asked for a bigger one, provided it, and then <i>they still denied that he was born in the US.</i></div>
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Rick Santorum called the President a "nigger" during a speech. It was on television and everything. He tried to cover it up, but failed.</div>
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Barack Obama is, according to the Secret Service, the "most threatened President in history". He receives over thirty death threats a day. Some of them have been made publicly, such as when Ted Nugent, an alcoholic sociopath who fancies himself a musician, stated that if Obama was re-elected, "I will either be dead or in jail." He later reiterated, indicating that he was "serious as a heart attack" and called for his audience to "ride into that battlefield and chop [Democrats] heads off in November."</div>
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Barack Obama was the first President in history to be denied the opportunity to speak to a joint session of Congress.</div>
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Benghazi. IRS. Bowe Bergdahl. Need I say more?</div>
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The list goes on. It's no secret that much of the opposition to what Barack Obama tries to accomplish is because Republicans are racist. This is the reason that the Koch brothers lobby against the ACA. This is the reason that so many people who had never heard of Obama and were self-described liberals were opposed to his running for office even before he was elected President.</div>
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And this is why Hobby Lobby is opposed to allowing their female employee to have bodily autonomy. It's not about birth control. It's about racism.<br />
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Addendum: Don't get me wrong. It's also sexist. Just not in its roots.<br />
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Nokihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16856143453343678103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991156649142951587.post-52307902505195193042014-05-12T22:37:00.000-05:002014-05-12T22:45:42.036-05:00I Hope I'm Not Wrong<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This has been on my mind a lot, lately. I've been watching debates and lectures, and reading articles, and basically stuffing information into my brain as quickly as my computer has been willing to feed it to me, and then pondering the result.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Not unlike a Middle Earth Dwarf enjoying a particularly pungent fart, and pondering the meal which produced it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So, I've been thinking about how science is not what gives us all of the wonderful gadgets that fill our lives with comfort and convenience and put food on our tables... it's far more important than that.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">No, hear me out.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Science doesn't give us gadgets and gizmos. It doesn't produce new medicines and new strains of food crops. It doesn't power our televisions. It doesn't turn seawater into fuel. It doesn't even allow us to mass-produce books with which to educate our children.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">All of these tasks are accomplished via Engineering, not science. Engineering is the application of processes and principles learned <i>via science</i> to produce new technologies. Engineering can feed back into science, as with the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Electron_microscope" target="_blank">electron microscope</a>, <a href="http://home.web.cern.ch/topics/large-hadron-collider" target="_blank">Large Hadron Collider</a>, and <a href="http://science.howstuffworks.com/innovation/edible-innovations/twinkie.htm" target="_blank">the process of putting the cream filling inside Twinkies®</a>. (Scientists eat a lot of Twinkies while conducting research. It helps with the process.) But Engineering isn't, strictly speaking, science.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So, then, one might ask, what <i>is</i> science?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm glad one asked.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Science is a process. It's the process for discovering new knowledge. It's the process for learning new things, not from someone else, but that someone else might not know. The central part, the most defining part, arguably the most important part of science, is <a href="http://www.sciencebuddies.org/science-fair-projects/project_scientific_method.shtml" target="_blank">The Scientific Method</a>. That's what's really the key to why science is important.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sure, there are other parts of science, like the classification of things based on what's learned, but The Scientific Process is the important part. And here's why:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Science isn't about building a smarter phone, nor a self-driving car, nor a house that does the cleaning for you. Science isn't about flying to the stars, nor flying across the ocean, nor making a flying car. And science isn't about curing disease, feeding the hungry, nor streaming information more quickly across the Internet.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Science is about thinking. It's about taking existing data, conditions, observations, analyzing them, making an <i>educated guess</i> about what's happening, finding a way to test that guess, and testing it <i>repeatedly</i> to determine whether the guess is consistently predictive of the results. But mostly it's <i>about thinking</i>.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The Scientific Method was one of the truly great revolutions in all of history. Writing, the domestication of food crops, The Scientific Method, tea cups with pictures of cute animals on them, </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and the willingness to look beyond the ideas handed down by our elders in order to examine the facts are, arguably, the most important revolutions to happen in human thinking.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Before the beginning of what can be called Human Civilization, all communication was oral, and that tended to change over time, so that the true nature of history, law, and who won the latest stick-throwing contest would become distorted. Writing changed all that in ways that nothing else had. Also, that which we were told by our elders (parents, grandparents, and assorted old people) was taken on faith, even though many of those same old people couldn't remember their own names.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And before The Scientific Process came about, one might look at, for example, lightning, and wonder, "Now what could be causing that?" More often than not, the conclusions drawn led to beliefs about supernatural entities and forces that were powerful and must be feared and appeased. The modern Scientific Process, though, would involve looking at the lightning, comparing it with what we already know (sweaters right out of the drier), setting up a way to test that, and so on. We would eventually gain understanding about the world around us, and, more importantly, ourselves.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">That's all it was. A revolution in thinking. Certainly, there was a process involved. We had to come up with new words (hypothesis, theory, Nobel Prize), but we started with some pretty basic information (maggots form on dead meat) and build up from there, and took what we learned and built upon it to learn more. Science was born not as a gizmo to make pretty blinking lights, but as a new way of thinking. An organized way of thinking designed to bring positive results.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And that's where it gets tricky. We're living in an interesting time. Mankind enjoys the benefits of science (and, by extension, engineering) like never before. We have machines to make our morning coffee. We can produce gasoline from seawater slightly more cheaply than from oil (and that process will become even cheaper). We can cure diseases that didn't exist 10 years ago, and many that existed long before that, even cancer, if it's caught in time.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ladies, check yourselves, and get regular mammograms after the age of 40.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We can cross the ocean in a matter of hours, fly to the moon, and even land robots on Mars. So what's the problem?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There are people, many of them prominent figures with some political influence, who are opposed to science. They aren't just opposed to creating clones of serial killers, nor handing over our nuclear arsenal to an artificial intelligence, nor even genetically engineered crops. They're opposed to <i>all science everywhere and always</i>. I hear phrases like, "Scientists don't know anything" and "Why can't science answer <i>question answered 20 years ago</i>" or "Why can't science answer <i>unanswerable or philosophical non-scientific question</i>?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">They want to eliminate science because it disagrees with their preconceived notions, or because the results of scientific studies interfere with their personal financial gain. But, really, what are they doing? Is science a bad thing? What would happen without science? If, for example, we eliminated all science and its fruits tomorrow?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Well, for one thing, most human life on this planet would be gone within six months. This <i>isn't an exaggeration</i>. Think about it.... We use machinery and chemicals to grow genetically engineered crops on smaller fields through the efforts of fewer people. We process that food using factories and ship it using trucks and sell it using computers. We have vaccines (and no, I don't want to hear your anti-vaxxer rhetoric, I know what's in vaccines, and I know why, and it <i>has never been shown to cause autism</i>). We have personal hygiene that helps prevent the spread of disease. Corrective lenses, endoscopic surgery, prenatal vitamins, mass transit... these are all things keeping people alive.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Why would people be opposed to something as important as science in the face of financial consequences? Pure selfishness, to a degree that has never been seen in any species apart from humans. The same goes for when someone chooses religion over science... it's not that the religion is directly harmed by science, but that people with their little beliefs in the superiority of their beliefs prefer for their beliefs to be dominant, and that's hard to maintain in the face of a method of determining what's real. These people know, <i style="font-weight: bold;">KNOW</i>, that they're hurting the future of mankind. They don't care. Some of them have children and grandchildren who will be harmed. <i>They don't care.</i> What they care about is their own current success. Fulfilling their own greed. Getting their wishes. They want their oil companies to net billions in profits this quarter. They want their megachurches to take it billions in tax-exempt donations. They want to maintain personal power over the lives of others.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I said that no other species has exhibited this kind of behavior. Here's a caveat: there have been <i>individual members</i> of pack species that have worked against the good of the pack. Whether it was due to a diseased brain, an injury, a genetic defect, or some other cause, there have been those who worked against the greater good.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The other pack members rose up <i>and ate them</i>. THAT was for the greater good.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Right now, we're locked in a massive struggle. Several, but they really mostly come down to the same thing. A few individuals are in power. They have the money, the means, and the media. They want what's good for them right now, and they'll do anything to get it and keep it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">These individuals <i>are diseased</i>. But the disease almost seems contagious. Due to their influence, mostly through the media and through pre-paid politicians, they're able to convince seemingly healthy, clearheaded people to vote against their own interests, to donate to causes that hurt them, to work against their own good and the good of their descendants and the world in general.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What's needed, I think, is knowledge. REAL knowledge. Not prepackaged fluff from news agencies with an agenda. The simple facts. I would hope that, if people knew the truth, they would act in a way to benefit the most people over the long run. This is what I want to believe. It's what I have to believe. Because if it's not true, then our entire species is diseased and we don't deserve to survive the next 100 years.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Such hope isn't science. There's no evidence to support it. But nor is it faith. I no longer have the emotional energy for faith. It's just hope. I'm seeing signs. I see more people opening their eyes, learning the truth for themselves, and working toward the greater good. I see things improving overall.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I hope I'm not wrong.</span>Nokihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16856143453343678103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991156649142951587.post-34116851263749538182013-12-19T16:08:00.002-06:002013-12-19T16:09:57.325-06:002013 Holiday MusicAt last, I return, and I come bearing musical goodness. This entry was inspired by one of the most horrifically annoying songs I've ever heard. As a child, I got to listen to The Twelve Days of Christmas every single day during the holiday season, sometimes multiple times per day. In school, out of school, at home, at Christmas parties, on television, it was everywhere. In elementary school, that song was played <i>EVERY SINGLE DAY</i>. <br />
<br />
Not the same version, mind you. Each day we were shown a different filmstrip, or film, or we listened to a different cassette, or record. I tried to explain that <i>it was still the same old song </i>that we had all heard every day for two months, but adults don't like listening to children.<br />
<br />
I find newer spoofs of this song to be less annoying, though, because at least they're new. So, in honor of this new "tradition", I submit my own entry into this genre. I used numbers rather than the words representing the numbers because it's easier to read. And also I didn't want to type all that over again.<br />
<br />
<u>The Twelve Days of Fast Food</u><br />
<br />
<br />
On the first day of fast food my true love gave to me...<br />
a kid's meal with a toooooyyyyyyyyy<br />
<br />
On the second day of fast food my true love gave to me...<br />
2 apple pies<br />
And a kid's meal with a toooooyyyyyyyyy<br />
<br />
On the third day of fast food my true love gave to me...<br />
3 french fries<br />
2 apple pies<br />
And a kid's meal with a toooooyyyyyyyyy<br />
<br />
On the fourth day of fast food my true love gave to me...<br />
4 diet Cokes<br />
3 french fries<br />
2 apple pies<br />
And a kid's meal with a toooooyyyyyyyyy<br />
<br />
On the fifth day of fast food my true love gave to me...<br />
5 Onion Riiiiiiiiingggggsssssss<br />
4 diet Cokes<br />
3 french fries<br />
2 apple pies<br />
And a kid's meal with a toooooyyyyyyyyy<br />
<br />
On the sixth day of fast food my true love gave to me...<br />
6 chocolate milkshakes<br />
5 Onion Riiiiiiiiingggggsssssss<br />
4 diet Cokes<br />
3 french fries<br />
2 apple pies<br />
And a kid's meal with a toooooyyyyyyyyy<br />
<br />
On the seventh day of fast food my true love gave to me...<br />
7 double cheeses<br />
6 chocolate milkshakes<br />
5 Onion Riiiiiiiiingggggsssssss<br />
4 diet Cokes<br />
3 french fries<br />
2 apple pies<br />
And a kid's meal with a toooooyyyyyyyyy<br />
<br />
On the eighth day of fast food my true love gave to me...<br />
8 extra-larges<br />
7 double cheeses<br />
6 chocolate milkshakes<br />
5 Onion Riiiiiiiiingggggsssssss<br />
4 diet Cokes<br />
3 french fries<br />
2 apple pies<br />
And a kid's meal with a toooooyyyyyyyyy<br />
<br />
On the ninth day of fast food my true love gave to me...<br />
9 with no mayonnaise<br />
8 extra-larges<br />
7 double cheeses<br />
6 chocolate milkshakes<br />
5 Onion Riiiiiiiiingggggsssssss<br />
4 diet Cokes<br />
3 french fries<br />
2 apple pies<br />
And a kid's meal with a toooooyyyyyyyyy<br />
<br />
On the tenth day of fast food my true love gave to me...<br />
10 sides of ketchup<br />
9 with no mayonnaise<br />
8 extra-larges<br />
7 double cheeses<br />
6 chocolate milkshakes<br />
5 Onion Riiiiiiiiingggggsssssss<br />
4 diet Cokes<br />
3 french fries<br />
2 apple pies<br />
And a kid's meal with a toooooyyyyyyyyy<br />
<br />
On the eleventh day of fast food my true love gave to me...<br />
11 greasy tacos<br />
10 sides of ketchup<br />
9 with no mayonnaise<br />
8 extra-larges<br />
7 double cheeses<br />
6 chocolate milkshakes<br />
5 Onion Riiiiiiiiingggggsssssss<br />
4 diet Cokes<br />
3 french fries<br />
2 apple pies<br />
And a kid's meal with a toooooyyyyyyyyy<br />
<br />
On the twelfth day of fast food my true love gave to me...<br />
12 Chicken Nuggets<br />
11 greasy tacos<br />
10 sides of ketchup<br />
9 with no mayonnaise<br />
8 extra-larges<br />
7 double cheeses<br />
6 chocolate milkshakes<br />
5 Onion Riiiiiiiiingggggsssssss<br />
4 diet Cokes<br />
3 french fries<br />
2 apple pies<br />
And a kid's meal with a toooooyyyyyyyyy<br />
<div>
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I hope you enjoyed. And if you like that, you'll love this:</div>
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Nokihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16856143453343678103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991156649142951587.post-29632712915669486832011-07-23T17:06:00.002-05:002011-07-23T17:26:20.325-05:00A Wish Your Heart MakesI believe that one's dreams give us insight, if not into the dreamer's personality, then into what's happening in that person's life. I've noticed a correspondence between major situations in my life and the dreams at that time. It's like the subconscious is just venting or something.<div><br /></div><div>So... Last night's dream...</div><div><br /></div><div>I was a junior member of the ruling council of Earth in an age when we were out among the stars and had friends among many alien races. Think <i>Babylon 5</i>, but with me instead of someone famous.</div><div><br /></div><div>I was in the council chamber, which actually looked like a file closet. There were filing cabinets everywhere, papers lying about, and a table with a paper cutter on it. It was difficult to move about, because the room was about the size of a closet and was filled with council members, most of whom were overweight.</div><div><br /></div><div>The council had just finished composing a new bill, one which had four bullet points listed on a small piece of paper, perhaps four inches by six inches. The senior members had errands to run, so one of them handed me the bill and instructed me to sign (with my thumbprint) the bill into law. He then left, with the others, and I was there alone with the other junior member.</div><div><br /></div><div>He turned to me and said, "Before you sign that..." I should have screamed and run, right then, but... "we could add a few more items to the list."</div><div><br /></div><div>In the end, we created two more bullet points. I don't remember number 5, but number 6 granted "the stuffed grey bear named 'Oatmeal' full citizenship of Earth, equal to that of a human child."</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBn2XjU3ia6D5169U2GMlMKTfnuRj4FQFYrXcYdwmMr24xRTWAGWLg5nqKp8nrVEYeetpcpniKR35PUxD4e_cYejSUthYsxfg3OKdOQPoHNv8qwUMg9SGxi0BeDM9qyX8iIcinxZdYmxY/s144/oatmeal_tower.jpg" /><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>I was just putting my thumbprint at the bottom of the paper when the seniorest council member came rushing back in, grabbed the paper from me, and shouted, "<i>What have you done?!?!?"</i></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div>At that point, I awoke, and reasoned that if I went back to sleep, the council would be there waiting to punish me, so I just got up for the day.</div>Nokihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16856143453343678103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991156649142951587.post-5814837637886446902011-06-05T02:00:00.003-05:002011-06-05T02:15:43.246-05:00From the Mouths of YungunsEach of us has questions in our childhood. It's a time of growth and learning. During early childhood, the brain experiences growth that it will never see again, and has capabilities that have been scientifically described as "supergenius".<div><br /></div><div>Eventually, these capabilities level out for most people, but the events during early childhood have lasting effects. They're called "the formative years" for a reason. I am the person I am today largely because of what I experienced between the ages of two and ten.</div><div><br /></div><div>So I was pondering the workings of my mind back then... I can remember the way I thought, and the kind of ideas I had, and, from my modern point of view, it's fascinating. Almost like looking into the mind of another person. I recalled some of the questions I asked as a child. And I also noticed that many of the questions I asked never received an answer.</div><div><br /></div><div>So I compiled a list of questions I asked my mother as a child. She was my primary source of information, outside of books. Sure, I went to school, but the teachers contradicted each other a lot, and I didn't have any friends, so my mother was really important in my early learning, especially before I learned to read.</div><div><br /></div><div>Here's a list of questions I was able to recall. Remember, for the sake of context, that these were all directed at my mother.</div><div><br /></div><div><div><ol><li>Why aren't black people allowed to join our church?</li><li>Why does Gramma say you hate me?</li><li>Is Jesus' mommy's name "Mary Christmas"?</li><li>Is "influenza" the opposite of "fluenza"? Is that why people with influenza can't talk so well, cuz they aren't fluenz in English anymore?</li><li>If a neutron is a proton and an electron smushed together, why does a neutron weigh less than a proton and an electron put together?</li><li>Teacher says we shouldn't be superstitious. Is it alright to be just regliar stitious?</li><li>Of the bionic man has one bionic arm and one regliar arm, why can he bend a steel bar by holding it with both hands? Wouldn't that rip his regliar arm out of the socket?</li><li>Is Grampa a bigfoot?</li><li>Is it okay to pray to Santa Clause?</li><li>What part of the cow is the bologna?</li><li>Why do our Christmas stockings look just like Grampa's socks?</li><li>If I die when I'm still a kid, in Heaven do I still have to go to bed at 8?</li><li>Why do I have to eat my vegetables if I'm just gonna take a vitamin anyway?</li><li>Why is the best kind of liver called "liver-worst"?</li><li>What was school like before they invented electricity?</li><li>My teacher says she needs to talk to you. What's a "sociopath"?</li><li>If Jesus drank wine, why is it a sin to drink beer?</li><li>Why are there no happy country songs?</li><li>Are Fig Newtons® a vegetable?</li><li>Why aren't grown-ups ticklish?</li><li>What's the national bird of Turkey?</li></ol><div>I thought that these questions might give some insight into the early development of my mind. I'm curious about the kinds of questions others asked their parents as children. I wonder if they asked the same things. Probably.</div></div></div>Nokihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16856143453343678103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991156649142951587.post-40032171578986285102011-05-29T06:00:00.000-05:002011-05-29T06:00:02.044-05:00Lyrical Wisdom"I figured it out!" The shout traveled the breadth of my home and shook its very foundation.<div><br /></div><div>My daughter, who was in my office trying to solve Sudoku puzzles with breakfast cereal as markers (to add an extra challenge, I ate all the green clovers while she wasn't looking), came out sounding excited. "What?!?"</div><div><br /></div><div>"Well, 'hokey' means 'fake' or 'fraudulent'..."</div><div><br /></div><div>"Okay."</div><div><br /></div><div>"And 'pokey' is slang for 'prison' or 'jail cell'..."</div><div><br /></div><div>"I don't like where this is head..."</div><div><br /></div><div>"So you can stick your right foot in. And put your right foot out. Any time you want, because the cell doors don't really lock."</div><div><br /></div><div>"There's something wrong with..."</div><div><br /></div><div>"You put your right foot in, and you shake it all about. It's a hokey pokey, so you can turn yourself about and walk right out of there."</div><div><br /></div><div>"Ashley..."<br /><br /></div><div>"But... <i>That's</i> what it's all <i>about</i>!"</div><div><br /></div><div>I might not have gotten through to her this time, but at least that song is now stuck in her head. I think of it as "hands-on parenting".</div>Nokihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16856143453343678103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991156649142951587.post-11610853573537996332011-05-28T07:48:00.004-05:002011-05-28T08:51:57.257-05:00Vampires!So, I have this scar. <div><br /></div><div>It seems that after three years of doctors telling me that my pain, nausea and bleeding out both ends was all in my head, I found a doctor who was able to explain that the reason that my navel had become an outy is that I have a hernia. He referred me to a surgeon who was able to repair the hernia will little pain and discomfort.</div><div><br /></div><div>For him. Little pain and discomfort for him. It hurt me like very little else ever has. But that's to be expected.</div><div><br /></div><div>Anyway, the hernia, after three years, reached from below my abdomen proper to my sternum. I had thirty-five staples.</div><div><br /></div><div><i>Thirty five staples!</i> How hard-core am I?</div><div><br /></div><div>Anyway, ignoring the interesting stories about the day of the surgery, or getting lost at The Women's Hospital, or why I think that staples in human skin were actually meant as a joke but someone got carried away... The result is that I have a huge scar.</div><div><br /></div><div>I'm not one of those women who can wear a bikini. In fact, the last time I laid out on the beach, some people from Greenpeace tried to help me back into the water. So I don't mind the scar, really. No one is likely to see it, unless I want to show them, and I'm not the type to go around with her belly exposed.</div><div><br /></div><div>Or <i>am I?</i></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div>I was thinking... if I can just lose a little weight... say, 150 pounds or so... then I can start wearing skimpy clothes. I was thinking... and that's where the fun started.</div><div><br /></div><div>I told my daughter... "I can wear something that bares my midriff, like Whistler's daughter, Whistler, in Blade III."</div><div><br /></div><div>She responded with, "But your <i>old</i>."</div><div><br /></div><div>"No, listen... I can dress just like she did. And when people ask about my scar..."</div><div><br /></div><div>"OLD!!!"</div><div><br /></div><div>"... I can say that I got the scar fighting vampires."</div><div><br /></div><div>"But you're o... wait, what?"</div><div><br /></div><div>"Vampires. I got the scar from vampires."</div><div><br /></div><div>"No, you didn't."</div><div><br /></div><div>"They won't know that."</div><div><br /></div><div>"But I do."</div><div><br /></div><div>"Are you going to tell them?"</div><div><br /></div><div>"Wha.... No!"</div><div><br /></div><div>"Then they won't know."</div><div><br /></div><div>"But... there's no such thing as vampires."</div><div><br /></div><div>"Ah ha! See... the scar. That's my proof."</div><div><br /></div><div>"But..."</div><div><br /></div><div>"If I got the scar fighting vampires, then that's proof that vampires are real. That's how they'll know that I got the scar fighting vampires."</div><div><br /></div><div>"But... No! You didn't!"</div><div><br /></div><div>"Uh huh. See the scar?"</div><div><br /></div><div>As my stepfather used to say (when I was paying my own way through college), you buy them books, send them to school... and they eat the covers off of the books. </div><div><br /></div><div> She's a work in progress.</div><div><br /></div><div>Update:</div><div><br /></div><div>It occurs to me that when I was traveling in Asia and I was unemployed, instead of filling out the "Employment" section of the customs forms with "Photographer", I should have put "Vampire Hunter". And I probably would have gotten away with it, too.</div>Nokihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16856143453343678103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991156649142951587.post-32509227121809806782011-04-26T02:54:00.002-05:002011-04-26T03:10:33.311-05:00New Trishus<div>I'm inclined, upon reading this label, to wonder whether Americans can truly eat healthily without just heading straight to the produce section of the grocery store and not go anywhere else until checkout time.</div><div><br /></div><div>Today I purchased some soups and soup-like items. I saw a children's classic - SpaghettiOs<span class="Apple-style-span" >®</span>! And who doesn't love those little pasta rings in yummy tomato and cheese sauce with or without meat balls?</div><div><br /></div><div>But I was shopping on a budget. So I bought a can of the cheap alternative: Kroger's<span class="Apple-style-span" >®</span> brand Speghetti Rings in tomato sauce with Meatballs<span class="Apple-style-span" >®</span>. After eating lunch this evening, I glanced at the label.</div><div><br /></div><div>Then, I did a double-take. Now, I wasn't expecting good nutrition, here, but I at least expected something that wouldn't kill a child after two helpings. Hilights are here:</div><div><br /></div><div>Calories: 230</div><div>Sodium: 1010mg</div><div>Sugars: 7g</div><div><br /></div><div>And the clincher - Servings per container: 2.</div><div><br /></div><div>Two! That means, that if, like just about anyone else, you eat a single can (it's a <i>single-serving-sized can</i>, not one of those jumbo things), then you can expect to double the values above.</div><div><br /></div><div>I know my diet isn't the best, but really, that sodium level should be illegal for anything intended to be taken as food. Two grams of salt in one meal... I had to double-check the label to see if it wasn't being sold as a nutritional supplement to replace lost electrolytes or something.</div><div><br /></div><div>Dad, if you're reading this... If you eat a can of these, for your own safety, don't have any crackers with them. Not without letting the rest of us say "Goodbye" first.</div><div><br /></div><div>And it wasn't even half as good as Campbell's SpaghettiOs.</div>Nokihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16856143453343678103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1991156649142951587.post-37004426147507561902011-04-10T05:29:00.002-05:002011-04-10T05:46:08.878-05:00Big Brother/PharmacySo, I was registering with the Walgreens website for the purpose of streamlining prescription refills... believe me, no one wants me missing my prescription...<div><br /></div><div>I filled out the normal stuff. Name, address, that sort of thing. Or rather, I put in the information I <i>want</i> them to think, so as to protect my privacy.</div><div><br /></div><div><i>OKAY...</i> I had my computer input that for me, because I didn't feel up to typing.</div><div><br /></div><div>So, anyway, I filled that out. Then, it said it wanted to verify my identity. I was expecting it to send me an e-mail with a link for me to reply to. Lots of sites do that. But instead it asked me a series of questions.</div><div><br /></div><div><ul><li>Which street, if any, was your listed residence before the one where you currently live?</li></ul>Simple enough... I've filled prescriptions at Walgreens before. They have me on record for both addresses.<br /><ul><li>Which model of vehicle is currently registered at your current address?</li></ul>No probl.... waitaminute! My car is on the list. How did they know that?<br /><ul><li>What is the year of manufacture of your Suzuki Sidekick?</li></ul>Hey! That was my <i>last</i> car! How in heck...</div><div><br /></div><div>OK, now I know that Big Brother wacheth and all that stuff. I'm ex-military, working for a defense contractor, and my father is a nut-job conspiracy theorist (the smart kind, who's actually right). So it doesn't surprise me that information like this can be had. But this is a simple registration on a website. A <i>pharmacy</i> website! AND I DIDN'T EVEN GIVE IT MY SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER OR DRIVER'S LICENSE NUMBER!</div><div><br /></div><div>Scary, huh? I've tried to be careful before, not giving out my real information when I don't have to, obfuscating things, and remembering what I tell whom, and keeping stuff to myself. I don't "own" any credit cards. I have no outstanding loans, apart from my vehicle, which was a non-credit-check purchase that will be paid off in a few months. (Instead of non-payment going on my credit, they have a tracking device on the vehicle, which is, itself, scary.) Even my own daughter doesn't know what my <i>actual</i> face looks like. She's only seen me pixelated. </div><div><br /></div><div>But this... <i>a drug store</i>... I shudder to think what dirt Wal-mart and Kroger's have on me!</div>Nokihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16856143453343678103noreply@blogger.com1