05 February 2009

Belated Happy New Year/Good Riddance

OK... I know it's been a while. But hear me out.

When this year started, I was really depressed. I was hearing rumors from a quasi-reliable source that I had lost a lawsuit by default... No papers had been served to me, but some were apparently served to someone living at my previous address. I'm not even sure what the point of the lawsuit was. I didn't do anything. Of course, this is America, land of the free ride and home of the frivolous lawsuit.

I probably rebuffed the wrong person online.

Anyway, so that really bummed me out. And worked well with the fact that I was laid off on December 31 from a job where I had been for eight years.

So, to sum up 2008:
  • I was in pain for the entire year
  • I had to battle misogynistic radicals in the workplace and nearly lost my job
  • I lost my job anyway
  • I lost a lawsuit I didn't know about and still have no details on
  • My hamster died
  • I lost my home
  • My father made a list of blogs he reads on his blog, and mine isn't included
  • I found out that my bank account somehow has someone else's name on it
  • I found out that I'm apparently no qualified to do the job I've been doing for eight years
  • Two of my favorite podcasts were canceled
  • I finally saw the Stargate SG1 movie, which closed out the TV series, and the ending was totally anticlimactic
  • Everyone except for one person (my BFF Luann) forgot my birthday!
    Even the people I had reminded the day before
  • Did I mention that the entire time all this was happening, I was in pain?
I had a bigger list while I was thinking about the past year, but I don't remember everything. The point is, I can safely classify 2008 as the Worst Year Ever (so far). Now, on to 2009:

First, we have a new president. I got that wish... Barack Obama. It's great, because he's black. Now, wait, he's white, but looks black. I mean... he's mixed. But looks black, and is a Muslim. No, wait, he's not Muslim, he's Christian but thinks he's Muslim. No, that's not right. He's Christian, but his father is Muslim, and he's anti-American. Wait, no, his preacher is anti-American. No, his preacher hates America, so he left the church, and is now a Muslim, and wasn't born in the US. No, wait, he was born near the US, but not quite here. No, he was born in Hawaii, which isn't part of the US. Wait...

Confused yet? This is the right-wing, Christian-controlled political extremist way to try to confuse people. Not that I totally agree with the left-wing, but come on! Here's the simple truth... He's black, but of mixed heritage (like virtually every other third-or-more-generation American). He was born in the US, but spent some time living elsewhere. (This is actually a good thing.) He is a Christian, but that's not really relevant, because he's going to try to depart from the last eight years by not letting his religion force him to make bad decisions. He left his church, but that might have something to do with the fact that for the next eight years he's going to be living elsewhere. His (former) preacher talked smack about the US government, but not as bad as some other consipiracy theorists, and only like tree times in the past ten years. (Note: You can't hold a man responsible for what someone else says. I've always believed this.)

Hopefully, he'll bring in some good changes. I understand he signed some hideous taxes regarding tobacco into law, but I don't use tobacco, so I'm not completely sympathetic. And the taxes will go to providing health care for uninsured children whose families earn too much money to qualify for medicaid. And (and I can't stress this enough), he didn't start this bill rolling. It was passed by both the House and Senate before getting to him.

I also understand he's doing some kind of craziness with bullets, but at least he's not outlawing guns. Just making them completely impractical. I don't know how well that one will work out, since people have been attacking the Right to Bear Arms for decades. That's alright. I guess. I believe in said right, and I'm all for gun owners having the right to use them, but I probably won't get a gun myself. I'm a decent shot with a pistol (about the only advantage of growing up in a Redneck family), but I'm a much better shot with a bow and arrow.

Still, a lot of Bad Things happened over the past eight years, and hopefully the new administration can fix some of them. But most importantly, we finally have a black president. I want to see the reactions of all those white people (you know who you are). And my mother, who is mostly white.

But... 2009 is here. It's a year of change. I know, because I have to find a new job. I'm thinking about changing careers. Mostly because I feel like I was bulldozed into IT, and it's not a perfect match for me. Sure, I could handle it just fine, but it wasn't a real challenge. I mean, when you get to the point where you want a computer to reboot faster, so you use the DOS "copy" command to enter a machine-language program straight from the keyboard in the form of control characters, you might have progressed to the point where you need to move onto something else. (Note: this was 14 years ago)

Also, I had to move out of the house I've been living in on and off for most of the past seven years. There just wasn't enough room, with the children getting older. So not only am I living in a different house (waiting for my RV to become available), but I'm actually living in a different city. I'm still within a reasonable commute distance of Houston, but I'm no longer living in Houston. That has been a goal of mine for a long time.

Another thing I've noticed is that with not working at the job where I've been forever and not living with the friends I've had forever, I've become more relaxed about being who I really am. I've mentioned before, I think, that I had a weird personality change a couple of years ago, and that Luann encouraged me to be myself. But now that I'm no longer surrounded by people pressuring me to be who they want me to be, I've really noticed changes. For the better, really.

It's weird, how someone my age can be so influenced by her peers.

Anyway... At the beginning of January, I was depressed. Very. I was feeling hopeless and couldn't imagine how I was going to survive the month, much less the year. But I made it. I got by, with a little help from my friends. The people who helped me get by the past month are:

  • Katy, who offered me a place to live while I search for a job
  • Luann, who shows me love and support
  • Buddy, whose love is both unconditional and unambiguous
  • Ciggy, my cousin, who taught me that if life gives you lemons, you dig out the seeds, plant them, and when the trees are big enough you can pick more lemons and sell them and use the money to buy apples or something (I hate lemonade)
  • Annie, who taught me that hugs can make anything better
  • Jean, who is caring for my animal friends until I can provide them a home
  • Ted, my cute personal trainer, who taught me that with a positive attitude you can do anything
I think that about covers it. Of courses, Katy has given me a lot more than a place to live. She's also helping me out in other ways, like helping me get set up with the Veteran's Administration, and has been working on my self-esteem (which I didn't realize had flagged).

Overall, it's been an eventful year. And I've given up on hoping that it will be a better year than last year, because, as it turns out, that just doesn't work.

Instead, I'm going to make this year a better year than last year. And I promise to write in my blog more often. I don't promise to write every day, but I do promise to try. And I'll try to make future entries more positive than this one. I'm actually feeling a lot more positive than I had been at the beginning of the year, and I want this blog to be a place where people can go to feel positive energy.

So, until next time, don't lose hope, don't try to victimize others, and, above all, be yourself.

1 comment:

HermitJim said...

I'll make a deal with you...you post on a more regular basis, and I'll read on a more regular basis...OK?

Being on my blog list ain't such a big deal, gotta have new stuff to read at least weekly.

Oh, and I know how you feel about the birthday cause certain folks missed mine as well...last year!

Love ya...