I have the happiest dog in the world. No kidding. He's like so happy, you can hear it. It sounds a lot like a tail the size, shape and thickness of a baseball bat, banging rapidly on walls, chairs, cabinets and glass objects.
His name is Buddy. That is, his human name is Buddy. His dog name (what he wants other dogs to call him) is Rogan, Defender of the Faith and Chaser of Tails. He doesn't chase his own tail. He chases other tails. That's kinda part of why he needed to be fixed.
Anyway, he's a breed known in scientific dog-building circles as "yellow sunshine focused into an animated construct in the laboratory", or "Yellow Lab" for short. The breed was originally created to combat depression. Unfortunately, scientists were unable to extract the happy chemicals from the dogs' brains and keep them isolated from the bouncy, goofy chemicals. Early test subjects went on to become Peewee Herman, Ben Stein and Bill Clinton.
Buddy is this bundle of pure excited joy. To see him when he sees me makes me happy, because he's so happy to see me when I get home. Not only because I'm the one who lets him outside to tinkle, but also because he loves me. In fact, he loves everyone. He's like The Mother Thing, in Heinlein's Have Spacesuit, Will Travel. Except he's male. And not from outer space. And a dog.
My friend Jean picks up stray animals, fixes them up, changes the oil, and finds them new homes. She found Buddy, sick and dying, beaten, abused, and wanting nothing more than someone to love. She asked me for help with him, and when I met him, I fell in love.
The kind of love that's alright to have with a dog. Not that sick kind they have in Florida.
Anyway, I fell in love. I agreed to help her get him the medical treatment that he needed to survive, and then guilted her into giving him to me. I grew up the daughter of a Baptist preacher's daughter, so I know how to lay on the guilt.
So I took Buddy home. When we got there, we walked into the house, and my cat looked up from his Place of Honor on the couch, took one look, and said, "Awwww, HELL no!" Buddy said, "A new friend!" Lucky didn't speak to me for days. They were among the happiest days of my life. But I digress.
I swear, I think the character of Donkey from the Shrek movies is based on a Yellow Lab. When he sees me... no kidding... he starts jumping up and down, tail knocking over whoever's standing too close, and smiling like a drug addict who has just found my old doctor's office. Although my Doggish is weak, I'm pretty sure that all he's saying is, "Iwannago Iwannago Iwannago takeme takeme Iwannago Iwannago Iwannago!"
So now you know pretty much all there is to know about Buddy for future reference. Except that he's a 70-pound lapdog who won't let me sleep unless I give him water at night and chews on bones the size of Japanese cars. Now, when I make references to Buddy, you'll be prepared.