So, I was sitting in the living room with my roommates, and we were discussing the disposal of a human body.
No, it's not what you think.
We were watching this television show wherein a woman accidentally killed her husband's friend, and in a panic the two of them worked to get rid of the body. I might have accidentally started things off with a comment such as, "That's what marriage should be all about. Two people willing to help each other, no matter what."
I should mention that my roommates are married. To each other. I like things to work all out symetric-like.
Anyway, so male roommate, Giordi, looked at female roommate, Anna, and said, "You would help me, right? If I had a body to get rid of? You would help me throw it from a plane?"
Anna, who, for some reason, expresses concern over our (Giordi's and my) behavior, pursed her lips, thought a moment, and said, "That would depend on why the body was dead."
"What? Why? I'm your husband."
"That doesn't mean I'm gonna help you hide a body."
Well, I felt the need to come to my friend's aid. I've known Giordi for many years, and we've been through a lot together. He was there when I accidentally set the kitchen on fire while trying to learn to light candles with my mind. And I was there when he was rewriting the standard Gnu C math libraries to speed up large arithmetic so that he could write a custom Linux X/desktop applet to predict phases of the moon. We're like siblings, only without the DNA and weird personal history. So I spoke up.
"I would help you get rid of a body, no matter why the bastard died."
Anna seemed unhappy with this announcement. "What?!?"
"I would help him. I mean, partly because I'm borderline psychotic, but mostly because he's my best friend."
Giordi spoke up... "See? Even a borderline psychotic would be more helpful than you."
Suddenly, I reallized why Giordi and I have been having trouble getting into contracts that require a security clearance. And also why Anna locks the bedroom door at night. That is, why she locks my bedroom door at night.