Heil Anxiety

So, I had this dream last night... I was on my way to a celebration. We were celebrating victory in the war.

To sum up, the Nazi party had just won World War II and had driven the Communists out of Hungary. They had also wiped out all known Jews worldwide.

If this isn't strange enough for you, I was one of the Nazis. Oh, but it gets better... I was one of Hitler's top advisors. And Hitler was a woman. In the dream, she was played by that lady from The Weakest Link.

So, I was on my way to the celebration. Don't get me wrong... I was opposed to her policy of genocide, and I didn't support the racism at all, but I had already decided that our regime was better than the one we were replacing (no idea regime what that was).

Also, she kinda scared me.

Another reason I was hesitant to go was because I knew that I was going to die. I didn't know how, but I knew that the story was about to end, and my character was supposed to die at the end. Cheerful, huh?

So anyway, I arrived at the site, when she was going to give a hearty speech. As I took my seat at the front, some of the others informed me that she had just passed a new law ordering immediate executions for anyone who even mentioned any of the Jews that had been killed. I idly wondered if I should start talking about them, knowing that I was supposed to die any minute. I thought about other ways, too. I could attack the Führer and be gunned down. We were on a high platform, so I could jump. The possibilities were endless.

As I pondered exit plans, Hitler saw me and ran over to me to give me a big hug. I stood to meet her, and as she slammed into me, she knocked us both off-balance, and I tumbled, pulling her down with me. We fell off the platform, toward the rocks a few hundred feet below. As I fell, I thought, "Oh, okay."

Just before I died I noted that I was also taking Hitler with me, so all-in-all, it wasn't a bad ending.