More doctor sayings

Here's a list of 20 more things I don't ever want to hear my doctor say:

1. How would you like to be in a text book?
2. Do you know how to get blood stains out of a car seat?
3. This is my colleague, Dr. Robbins. He specializes in exorcising demons.
4. Ignore the man behind the curtain.
5. Your insurance company called... How much cash do you have on you right now?
6. Did you know that you can get a doctor's diploma through the Internet?
7. Before I tell you your test results, I need to know if you're prone to fits of violence.
8. I hope you like Jell-o, because that's all you'll be eating from now on.
9. Let me point out that suicide can be quite a painless alternative...
10. Does this stethoscope make my head look fat?
11. I forget, where's the cocyx?
12. I can't read this big words... what does this say?
13. Have you been bitten by insects in the Amazon basin recently?
14. You're not supposed to have three of these.
15. The first thing to remember is that we're all mortal, so you're not alone.
16. I would say that "treatable" is probably too strong a word.
17. Just ignore the gas mask.
18. I hate to be the bearer of bad news... So let me get a nurse.
19. Until I saw the lab results, I thought you were kidding.
20. I saw this once on an episode of Star Trek.